Friday, January 6, 2012
At 16, I knew I didn't want to live in Pennsylvania.
At 18, I knew I wanted to go to college. In Pennsylvania and not too far from home.
At 20, I knew I wanted to go to grad school in Pennsylvania.
At 21, I knew I wanted to leave school and help my Mom who was diagnosed with breast cancer.
At 22, I knew I wanted to have fun and be single.
At 23, I knew I wanted the man I loved to come from Iraq safely.
At 24, I knew I wanted to still live in Pennsylvania close to my family but with my then boyfriend.
At 25, I knew I wanted to be married and support my soon to be husband so I knew I wanted to move to Maryland.
At 26, I knew I wanted to finally finish my degree and start a career.
At 27, I knew I wanted to be a mom and my career wasn't so important.
At 28, I never knew I wanted to have another baby.
Now, at almost 31, I know that I never really knew what I wanted. What I wanted and what I have now are different. Different and better. I have more than I ever thought I wanted or would have. I am grateful for lost dreams and the bends in my journey that put me in the place I am now.
I always think of what would have happened if I had all the things I thought I wanted. I would never have ended up in some random bar in upstate New York. I would never have been introduced to my husband, a New England fan from Massachusetts. I wouldn't be where I am right now, on my couch with my 2 little girls napping away and my husband watching some cheesy 80's movie next to me.
I am blessed to not have gotten what I wanted.