Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Top 5 Reasons Why I Hate Shopping

Dan gave me an early birthday present of going shopping, alone, for some new clothes which I am in desperate need of.  It would be lovely to own a pair of jeans so that I can stop mooning the whole house every time I bent down.  Unfortunately, the best part of my day out was coming home.

Ok, I admit, it was nice to get out on my own (although I did miss my girls and was totally contemplating bringing Abby until I thought about how much she loves the play area which would lead to lots of tears when we left which would lead to me regretting bringing her).  However, I have no idea where to shop any more.  Is my body so mis-proportioned that they're are no stores that sell clothes to fit me?

Here are my top 5 reasons I now HATE shopping:

1.  Organization 
Searching the bottom of the pile for the normal size clothes makes me want to lose my mind.  Why do stores have 1,000,001 pairs of size 2 jeans, or better yet size 0?  Because those sizes are not normal!  By the way, every store I shopped in today, I honestly do not feel bad that I had to mess up your nice neat piles just to find a normal size since you made it a point to crush my self esteem from the moment I walked into your store, 

2.  Fitting rooms
It drives me crazy to have to look for someone to unlock a dressing room.  I don't understand why they have to be locked in the first place since no one ever counts my clothes when I leave.  

3.  Fitting rooms (part 2)
I also don't understand why they ask you how you did.  I'm walking out of here empty handed, how do you think I did?!?  Thanks for making me say aloud that that nothing fit.  Also could someone tell me why you had to come check on me 30 seconds after I got in the fitting room?  Yes, I am ok, I am currently trying to stuff my fluff in these too tight jeans!

4.  Fitting rooms (part 3)
The funhouse mirrors and cellulite enhancing lighting.  Again, thank you for giving me an extra boost of low esteem today!

5.  Sales Associates
Do they not realize that some people just want to be left alone?  I do not want you, Mr. Tall and Skinny, to help me find pants in size GINORMOUS.  Again, if I am putting these jeans back then I guess they didn't fit and if I wanted to discuss my waist size with you then I will come and find you.  Obviously, I would like to keep it to myself since my waist is as round as you are tall!

Ok, I know I'm being a little harsh but shopping is seriously depressing when you are trying to lose weight.  Since I was having a completely unproductive day, I decided to make myself feel better by stopping at Auntie's Anne's and getting a pretzel with cheese sauce. - You know you're a fatty when you go to mall and all you buy is FOOD!


  1. I can so relate to all of this. I love the dressing mirrors that are sliming. I can't tell you how many times I've left Kohls loving myself only to realize I don't look as good in all the clothes I just bought. :)

  2. I just went shopping by myself to get some jeans that weren't "mom jeans"! Of course the ones I liked the most were the most expensive. :( I agree about the piles of size is always on the bottom of the pile on the bottom shelf!



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