Thursday, December 9, 2010

Dealing With You is Excruciating: Writer's Workshop



I'm linking up for this weeks writing challenge over at Mama Kat's.  Here's a letter to just about any company I ever give my money to....

Dear (insert company here),

Although your company policy states that your goal is to provide 'exceptional customer service' I think you forgot what exceptional customer service is.  See, I give you my money and you give me a product while acting like you appreciate the fact that I chose you.

Now, I'm not expecting you to roll out the red carpet just because I decide to go with your bundle package.  I realize that I am one in a million and I am not even a blip on your radar when you analyze your bottom line but do I not count for something?  I don't even require 'exceptional', I'm pretty easy.  Here are just a few things that would make me 'exceptionally happy'.

Since I am the customer, can I please at least have things delivered on the correct date to the correct home? (Yes, I'm talking to you, furniture STORES.  That's right, I am dealing with 2 furniture stores who are driving me crazy!).

Since I am the customer, can I have a phone call returned in a timely manner?  As in, within a few days? So that I do not have to call back and explain my entire story all over again to someone else who doesn't care?  (This ones for just the one store who is holding my table hostage on a boat from China).

Speaking of a timely manner, do you think that I can receive a bill in a timely manner?  Not over a year after I visit your office.  I made payments after each visit but now you say I owe more, over a year later.  I'm so confused as to why but I guess I have to pay since it's my credit that will be damaged if I don't.   Do I get to take over a year to pay you?  (Yup, this one is for you Dr. Dentist!).

Really, I don't want to be angry.  I don't want to have to yell and threaten to cancel my order/service/complain.  But when I try to be nice about things, you take advantage of me and try to pacify me with an "I'm sorry for your inconvenience."  Well, I'm sorry for it too!

I think you should change your company's goal to 'provide exceptionally excruciating customer service'. Problem solved, goal met.

Sincerely,

Inconvenienced, As Always
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6 comments:

  1. Hahaha ohhhhh customer service is such a misnomer lately! We pay them all this money and they act like they're doing us a favor. At least the furniture's cute??

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  2. Oh, that was too, too funny! Wouldn't we all like to say such things from time to time!

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  3. haha I loved this. I think we ALL have horrible customer (lack of) service stories!

    Carri
    (Visiting from Mama Kat's)

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