Focus Friday

"Whatever we focus on is bound to expand. Where we see the negative, we call forth more negative. And where we see the positive, we call forth more positive. Having loved and lost, I now love more passionately. Having won and lost, I now win more soberly. Having tasted the bitter, I now savor the sweet."

 Marianne Williamson 

I haven't done a Focus Friday lately because things have been a bit crazy (there are times that Friday comes and goes before I realize it was here).  Visiting with family this past week has reminded where my focus needs to be.  It's also reminded me that my job as a parent is to teach my girls how to enjoy what's around them.  Carving out time for family and treating family with respect is somewhat of a learned behavior.  If I do not make the effort to be around loved ones then they will not learn how important these people really are.

There are times that make me realize how disconnected we can be from one another.  Everyone is on their laptop, iPhone, or some other device and not really enjoying the people right in front of them.  I am guilty, especially in the mornings when I'm tired and it's so much easier to sit, drink my coffee, and go online while Abby watches tv.  


There was a moment this past week (or I should say a few hours) when me and the girls were the only ones not sucked in by technology.  I realized that everyone was really missing out.  Our visit was long but short in the sense that we only visit a few times a year.  We wouldn't be there next week and wouldn't see each other again until April or possibly sometime after.  I know when given a choice between technology or family we would all choose family but how often do our actions show something different?


I'm going to make a conscious effort to increase my quality time with my family.  Cell phone off and computer hidden away.  Today I took the girls outside to enjoy the first signs of Spring.  Yes, I know it's March 1st but I was outside in short sleeves... for those of you up North, please don't hate! 

I took time to make a delicious, healthy lunch while Abby played with her dinosaurs.  

Now, while both girls are napping, I have time to write without interruption.  By the time they wake up, I'll feel rested and ready to focus on these two little ladies:

Do you sometimes find yourself not living in the moment?  How do you make time for your family each day?

Focus Friday

"Whatever we focus on is bound to expand. Where we see the negative, we call forth more negative. And where we see the positive, we call forth more positive. Having loved and lost, I now love more passionately. Having won and lost, I now win more soberly. Having tasted the bitter, I now savor the sweet."

 Marianne Williamson 

This has been a tough week of tantrums and meltdowns.  I always try to remind myself that Abby will outgrow this stage and I'll be missing the good stuff.  So, let's focus on the funny/cute toddlerisms!

Abby's new way to say football is hootball.  I don't know why since she used to say it perfect.  She is so excited for the Superbowl and I fear that my husband has successfully created a lifelong Patriots fan.  Here she is all geared up for the game last week:

This game is serious!

On our way to the grocery store the other day, she insisted on making her own list.  With pen and paper in hand she started:
     Step 1:  Hot Chocolate (which she's never had)
     Step 2:  Yogurt (one of her faves)
     Step 3:  The sticky things that go on mommy's underwear

Step 3 had me laughing, it also made me realize that she spends entirely too much time in the bathroom with me.

Abby has been reading to me and Lilly.  Her memory is incredible!  She hears a story once and she remembers key phrases from each page.  It's so cute and she is so proud of herself!

She has been 'playing' with her imaginary friends.  Well, her one imaginary friend is her best friend who she doesn't get to see nearly enough but I love that her imagination is so alive!

Everything she does was 'this week'.  For example, 'I go to the museum and saw shark this week.'  It was actually 2 months ago, but to her it was yesterday.  Oh, to have no sense of time!

Focusing on these cute little things makes staying home with her and Lilly worth it.  I know that these are the things that won't last forever.  She used to say 'hi morning' whenever she woke up and call our dog, JR, 'caca'.  Those little quirks are already gone and I'm not even sure she remembers that there was a time that she didn't quite get it right.

As she gets older and I look back on these days, the tantrums will be a distant memory but I'll always remember the things that make me laugh.

That's the good stuff!

Focus Friday: Doing the Best I Can

As a mom, I pride myself on being able to juggle everything:  housework, play time, groceries/menu planning, discipline, snuggle time, etc etc etc!  There are days that things aren't balanced and those are the days that I try to reassess and learn so that I am better prepared.  As things change, our schedule changes too.  What worked 2 weeks ago may not work now... I try to be flexible.

I devote my life to being a mom.  Days without my girls are few and far between and thats ok.  Sure, there are days that I want to run away or go back to work but I am grateful to be the one who comforts them. laughs with them, and teaches them.

I take my job seriously.  So, when someone makes a comment about how one of my girls may not be getting enough attention, it stings.  It feels like an attack on me, on who I am.  I know the comment wasn't said to hurt me, but it did.

Are there times that Lilly needs more attention?  Yes.  Are there times that I am forced to let Lilly cry so that I can focus on Abby?  Yes.  This is life.  Everyone who has ever had a a sibling has gone through the same emotions.  Does the child who WANTS attention feel pushed aside a little bit when the other child NEEDS attention?  Sure.  Do I sympathize?  As the oldest of 5, of course I do.  It's a lesson thats impossible to avoid:  Sometimes we don't get everything we want, but hopefully we get everything that we need.

I'm trying not to let the comment someone made bother me because the truth is that I am doing the best I can.  I KNOW this.  But, it's nagging at me because it hit right on the 'mommy guilt' button.  We all have one, whether we stay home with our kids or go to work.  We have the greatest responsibility anyone could ever have:  raising a child into a well adjusted adult.  It's a responsibility that none of us have a handbook for.  There is no fool proof method.  No right or wrong.  Just, intuition and hope.  Even if one day is bad, we hopefully have hundreds more to make up for it.

I am trying to focus on what I know.  Knowing that every choice I make is made with them in mind.  I try to take advantage of each moment with them... I do the BEST I possibly can.

So, my focus today is on my crazy toddler.  In a quiet moment, when Lilly was content and sleeping, we got a little silly and Abby LOVED every moment!

Cutest kitty cat ever!

Focus Friday

"Whatever we focus on is bound to expand. Where we see the negative, we call forth more negative. And where we see the positive, we call forth more positive. Having loved and lost, I now love more passionately. Having won and lost, I now win more soberly. Having tasted the bitter, I now savor the sweet."

 Marianne Williamson 

The weather this week has been absolutely amazing!  I know there are a lot of you out there hoping for some snow (including Abby) but I am LOVING these mild temperatures.  I've been a bit down about my weight, it's stayed the same for the most part but that's my own fault.  I decided that this week I NEEDED start exercising.  Not an easy task with a toddler and infant so we got out walking twice this week.

First, we headed over to Jefferson Patterson Park which has a really cool Indian Village.  I love it here because I can let Abby run freely and much of the path is paved so it's easy to walk with the stroller.  And yes, those are bones she's playing with... strange, right?

We even took a little detour closer to the water, an area we haven't been to yet.

Then I had the bright idea to go on a real adventure and take the girls to the zoo.  We're about an hour away from DC and I love when we get the chance to take advantage of all the free stuff it has to offer.  We usually take the Metro in but I decided against such a long ride with 'Screaming Lilly' so we drove (you're very welcome fellow Metro riders!).  I guess January doesn't bring many people to the zoo which made it our nicest visit yet!  Even the animals were happy to see us!

 It was actually this little guys birthday!

 The day at the zoo took a lot out of Abby and my girl who hasn't ridden in a stroller in almost a year insisted on being driven back to the car.  We already went out and bought a Sit and Stand Stroller in case this happens again!

There was one morning that kind of got the best of me and I woke up kinda grumpy (being woken up 2-3 times a night will do that to a person!).  But then I looked outside and saw this:

What a pretty start to a day (that began way too early)!

Focus Friday

"Whatever we focus on is bound to expand. Where we see the negative, we call forth more negative. And where we see the positive, we call forth more positive. Having loved and lost, I now love more passionately. Having won and lost, I now win more soberly. Having tasted the bitter, I now savor the sweet."

 Marianne Williamson 

I love this quote because I find myself getting so caught up in what's going on that I forget to find the good in things.  That's why I took such a long break from blogging.  I was just too focused on life's problems and I never wanted this to be a place where I vented.  Trust me, sometimes I have wanted to just spew all my negativity but I hate the thought of having my knee jerk reaction documented.  My feelings about things tend to change frequently and quickly once I calm down.  Unfortunately, sometimes it's hard to tear yourself away from the negativity.

Since I got this snazzy new camera for Christmas, I figure that the best way to focus on the positive is to photograph it.  Make a sort of weekly collage of the positive things.  The sweet things.  Things like this little bambina... 

Or that fact that Abby thought I was lonely because Dan's been working nights and decided to leave me a friend to cuddle with:

My goal for this new year is to quit dwelling on the negative and to be thankful for all the good.  I need to slow down and take the time to laugh and love.  Because there are people who I am grateful to have in my and my daughters life.

I hope to make this a weekly thing... kind of like a week in review of all the goodness that life has to offer.  Because even though I still have to work my way through the stressful stuff, there are things that make that all worthwhile and I need a reminder.