Mommy/Daughter Day

At this time last year, Abby would have considered herself an only child.  Yes, she knew that my enormous belly held her sister but she had no idea what that REALLY meant.

She was too little to understand that once Lilly was here, there would be little time for anyone to focus just on her.

She had no idea that her toys would now become 'their toys.'

She could in no way comprehend what it would feel like to have another family member thrown into the mix.

I must say, she's handled it better than I ever thought she would.  She accepted her as part of us since the moment she saw her.  Crying when she left the hospital because she wanted not only me, but also her sister to come home with her.

However, sometimes I see her need to have undivided attention creep in.  She wants me to freely chase her at the park or cuddle up in her bed at the drop of a hat to read a story.  Sometimes, it just not possible.  Sometimes I have to stay closer to Lilly whose just too little to run around the park.  Sometimes I just have laundry/cleaning/cooking to do and not enough time to do it in.

So, when a friend asked me to go to Disney on Ice, I wanted to say yes but couldn't.  I needed someone to watch Lilly and both Dan and my sister were working.  So, I had no choice but to say no.

Except, I had assumed my sister was working and she actually wasn't.  So the night before the show, while Abby was sleeping, I decided that we could go.  Unfortunately, the seats next to my friend were already taken.  We'd be sitting a few rows behind her.

Initially, I thought this was a recipe for disaster.  I was sure that once Abby realized that she wasn't sitting by her BFF, we would be in tantrum city.

I underestimated the magic of Disney.  We got to our seats mere seconds before the show started.  In no time, Abby was in my lap looking at the characters (especially the beloved Minnie) with awe.  To say she loved the show would be an understatement.  She was completely entranced by all of the characters, music, lights, and dancing.

I enjoyed the show too of course, but the highlight was having my first born cuddle up on me the entire show.  Little Miss Independent hasn't done that in a long time and it felt good to spend the afternoon with her.

I am so grateful that my friend gave us the tickets and that we did, for part of the show anyways, sit a few rows back.  It gave Abby and I time to be just the two of us.  It reminded just how little my big girl is.

And, these past few days have been WAY less tantrum filled.  I'm guessing a day together is just what the 2 of us needed!

(For the record, I kept feeling like I was forgetting something (or someone) throughout the day.)

Super Mom

Source: Uploaded by user via Aeschine on Pinterest

Lately, I've been letting stress get the best of me.

These past few days, I have been up to my eyeballs in poopy diapers and runny noses.  On top of a nagging, but thankfully not serious, medical issue that I have been getting for the past few months.

I've been grumpy.  Caught up in the monotony of daily chores.  Easily rattled and quick to lose my temper.

As accepting as I am in each of my girls habits and needs, I've been finding myself frustrated by Abby's free spirit and Lilly's tendency to want to be plastered to my hip.

 I'm not happy with myself.  I feel guilty for the tone I use and my reactions.

I was talking to a friend the other day who was letting off steam about how she feels like she just can't do it all.  Dinner, reading, playing, cleaning... the list goes on and on.

I gave her advice:  there's nothing wrong with pizza for dinner, let the cleaning wait, don't miss the little moments.  I told her there's no such thing as a SUPERMOM.

Yet, today, I sat here and texted Dan to tell him that I'm a failure.  Telling him that now I'm having second thoughts about not sending Abby to preschool.  Telling him that I'm frustrated and feel stuck.  Feeling like my days have no purpose or destination.

I was having a pity party because I have been walking around with tissues and Lysol wipes for days.  Because neither of my girls napped.  Because a project I had planned for the afternoon went wrong.

Then I realized, that I need to take my own advice.  Things will never be perfect.  Yes, I had a vision that the project would be a hit with Abby and keep her occupied for a while.  I envisioned Lilly exploring the glue and tissue paper, all while staying put on the tablecloth so I could leave her without a diaper to try to clear up her diaper rash (the first one either of my kids have ever had).

I envisioned rainbows and unicorns.

My reality was chaos and mess.

Instead of rolling with it, I got frustrated.  I beat myself up and called myself a failure.

How could I expect it to work out any different?  Two sick and tired kids... a recipe for disaster.  Yet, I set a standard for myself that anyone else would have called ridiculous.

Don't we all have moments like this?  Moments that don't turn out right.  Moments where we don't behave the way we know we should.

I also realized this, after I had a mini breakdown that required 5 minutes of quiet time, kids don't care about a clean house or elaborate projects.  That want to play, with you.  They want to do something, with you.  They want to know where their favorite toys are.  They don't want our definition of a Supermom, they have their very own definition for that.  One that is far more forgiving than ours.

I need to remind myself, that what I think I should be and what my kids need me to be are two separate things.  I am willing to bet that any Mom who worries about whether or not they are doing right by their kids, probably is doing a perfect job.

So, I now believe that there is such thing as a Supermom.  A Mom that is perfect.  I am that Mom for my kids, and I'm sure you are a Supermom to yours.

The next time I'm beating myself up, I'm going to drop everything and just be.  I have 2 happy, healthy, thriving girls.  Full of giggles and songs and the sweetest dance moves I have ever seen.  Only a SUPERMOM could raise 2 kids like that.

What's New: A Bunch of Randomness

It's been a Murphy's Law kind of a week.  Seriously, 7 straight days of things just going wrong in one way or another.  I'm over it and looking forward to a fun weekend visiting family!

Since I'm sure you can all imagine that kind of a week, I won't bore you with the details.  I thought I'd fill you in on some of the randomness going on in the world of my kiddos.

• I shared this video the other day, but one of the biggest changes this past week is that Lilly is finally walking!  Everywhere!!!!!  She doesn't like being confined to the stroller anymore and very rarely crawls around the house.  It still makes me smile when I see how proud she is of herself.  She is one cute little walker!

• Abby has been moved into her big girl bed!  She was a little upset that her new bedding doesn't have both Minnie and Princesses on it, however.  If only I could sew maybe we could make that happen.  Unfortunately, I don't see myself taking up a new skill anytime soon so she'll have to live with flowers for a while.

• Speaking of princesses, suddenly Abby is on a princess kick.  Her favorite is Sleeping Beauty because she likes her pink dress.  It's so bad that tomorrow she wants to wear this dress on our vacation (a weekend trip to Pennsylvania):  

She also wanted me to wear my wedding dress today, which hasn't fit since the day I got married.  My choice of flip flops when I went out to clean my car was also met with disapproval.  Apparently, heels are more fashionable! 

• Proving that kids are a walking set of contradictions, my little princess was eating her boogers the other night.  When I tried to explain why boogers are not a good food choice, she started crying.  Not just any cry, but full blown sobbing.  Finally she said, "I am just so hungry and I don't know what to eat!"  I don't make it a habit to laugh at my crying kids, but that was just too funny!!

• One of Lilly's favorite things right now is electrical cords.  She pulled the plug out of the computer the other day and broke it, leaving us without a computer for a few days.  I was little bit lost and VERY thankful for my IPod!

Off She Goes

I am so proud of my Lilly!

Restarting My Day

After a weekend filled with too much junk food and one too many cocktails, I woke up Monday morning excited to try Dr. Oz's 48 hour cleanse.

Yes, I thought, just what I need to discipline myself!  I knew my hardest hurdle was not drinking my usual half a pot of coffee.  However, a lot of people reported feeling energized so I was hopeful that I would too.

Here's a quick recap of how my day went down:

7 am  

Made and sat down to eat my Quinoa with prunes.  Discovered that I REALLY can not stomach prunes.  Ate a few and then tried to eat around them.  Left about half the bowl since the Quinoa was covered in prune juice.

8 am

Starving and tired but tried to ignore it.

9 am

Decide it's time to make the Detox drink.  Off I go, chopping and pouring everything into my blender.  Secretly hoping that this drink will work a miracle and give me energy since my eyes are now tearing from being so tired.

10 am

After many interruptions by my kiddos, and fighting with my blender, I finally have my green drink ready to go.  After 1 sip, I'm not too sure if I like the leafy texture.  After the second sip, I am sure that I can't handle the leafy texture.  All my hard work goes down the drain, literally.

11 am

I am already thinking about lunch: a banana/blueberry smoothie.  Problem is:  we are out of bananas!  Instead of risking not having any food until dinner, I decide to make vegetable soup.  Both my girls want to share and, since this is the first time Abby actually WANTS to eat vegetables, I begrudgingly share (and continue to be hungry and in desperate need for caffeine).

12 to 1 pm

Lunch time for my girls, followed by nap time.  I beg Abby to please nap since I am too tired to keep my eyes open. 

2:30 pm

I wake up from my nap and, before I can even open my eyes, I stuff my face full of Oreos.  By the time I realize what I'm doing, I've eaten about 8.  Instead of stopping there, I eat a few more since I didn't really enjoy the first few considering I was barely awake.

I then decide to restart my day, make coffee, and abandon all ideas of Detoxing. 

Source: someecards.com via Katie on Pinterest

Hiatus Recap... Hello Again!

I have started and stopped this post more times than I can count.

Things have been hectic.  Dan has been working long, crazy hours.  My kids are changing through routines faster than I can adjust to them.

I. JUST. CAN'T. GET. IT. TOGETHER.

Blogging has taken a back seat to all the chaos and I miss it.  Here's a quick picture recap of our lives the past few months.

We vacationed... and wished we could back!

We got messy... A LOT!

 We explored.

Abby started dancing.

And learning (well, I always try to give her learning experiences but now we're a bit more structured).

I even knocked a few things off my Pinterest bucket list!

 To top it all off, Lilly has been taking her first steps!  I wish I had some good video but she likes to walk to me and for only short distances.  Hopefully I'll be able to show off her new accomplishment soon!

I also hope that this post gives me the motivation to blog again.  The longer I went without blogging, the harder is was to put a post together.  Now, I just need to find time... or make time... is there a recipe for that?

Hi There!

Holy Hiatus!

This bloggy break was totally unintentional.  I had every intention to blog during vacation but fun and family time seemed to get in the way.  But, we've been back for 2 weeks and it's still crickets over here.  

All I can say is that the days have been flying by while we've been enjoying the summer.  We've been going to carnivals, the aquarium, on play dates... and that's since we've been home from our marathon vacation (more on that in another post).  

We've also been working on some new skills.  Miss Lilly has taken her first steps!  You won't actually see them in this video but watching her try is downright adorable!

She has also mastered the stairs.  Not one to be left out, Abby was quick to put her in her place proving she is not only the bigger sister but the faster sister (for now anyway)!

Oh, the other skill we've been working on is sleeping.  Such an important skill to have, wouldn't you say?  I am (again) sick and tired of waking up 4 times a night and (after all other techniques failed) am letting her cry it out.  My dr told me that I can let her cry all night if I'm comfortable with that... except my heart could never take that!  Listening to her cry is probably the worst sound I've ever heard.  Dan told me to just shut the monitor off and sleep but I can't do that either.  What if she does REALLY need me?

So, I have resigned myself to the fact that for the next few nights I will sleep even less than normal while listening the my baby cry.  TORTURE!