A Little Cup of Comfort

Focus Friday

2012-01-27T07:25:00.000-05:00

"Whatever we focus on is bound to expand. Where we see the negative, we call forth more negative. And where we see the positive, we call forth more positive. Having loved and lost, I now love more passionately. Having won and lost, I now win more soberly. Having tasted the bitter, I now savor the sweet."

Marianne Williamson

This has been a tough week of tantrums and meltdowns. I always try to remind myself that Abby will outgrow this stage and I'll be missing the good stuff. So, let's focus on the funny/cute toddlerisms!

Abby's new way to say football is hootball. I don't know why since she used to say it perfect. She is so excited for the Superbowl and I fear that my husband has successfully created a lifelong Patriots fan. Here she is all geared up for the game last week:

This game is serious!

On our way to the grocery store the other day, she insisted on making her own list. With pen and paper in hand she started:
Step 1: Hot Chocolate (which she's never had)
Step 2: Yogurt (one of her faves)
Step 3: The sticky things that go on mommy's underwear

Step 3 had me laughing, it also made me realize that she spends entirely too much time in the bathroom with me.

Abby has been reading to me and Lilly. Her memory is incredible! She hears a story once and she remembers key phrases from each page. It's so cute and she is so proud of herself!

She has been 'playing' with her imaginary friends. Well, her one imaginary friend is her best friend who she doesn't get to see nearly enough but I love that her imagination is so alive!

Everything she does was 'this week'. For example, 'I go to the museum and saw shark this week.' It was actually 2 months ago, but to her it was yesterday. Oh, to have no sense of time!

Focusing on these cute little things makes staying home with her and Lilly worth it. I know that these are the things that won't last forever. She used to say 'hi morning' whenever she woke up and call our dog, JR, 'caca'. Those little quirks are already gone and I'm not even sure she remembers that there was a time that she didn't quite get it right.

As she gets older and I look back on these days, the tantrums will be a distant memory but I'll always remember the things that make me laugh.

That's the good stuff!

Parenting is Ever Changing

2012-01-26T08:15:00.000-05:00

I have come to the conclusion that kids, infants in particular, understand way more than we give them credit for. I remember when Abby was real little it seemed like every time I bragged about this great schedule she was on, she would do something different the following day. I learned to stop discussing her sleeping or eating habits.... EVER!

Lilly just did a similar trick last night. Dan and I were just saying how great it was that she sleeps through the night only getting up once or maybe twice for a quick 2 oz bottle and falling right back to sleep. Last night, she woke up three times and wanted 4 oz one of those times. Yup, never talking about her schedule again either!

Now Abby has really out did herself because she actually changed up a habit I recently wrote about. Can she really read? Do kids have some sort of ESP? It's like they know when we get used to something and say to themselves, "Oh, I'll show them. How about this for a change of pace?"

Remember last week when I wrote about tv viewing? Remember how I said that having the tv on does not stop her from playing and only catches her interest for a few minutes at a time? Well, in an effort to remain honest with all of you, I have to admit that is not the case anymore.

It started the other day. She wanted to watch Toy Story, her favorite movie, and I agreed. It was over right in time for bed time. Now, she didn't just sit glued to the tv and half the time she wasn't even in the same room as the tv. When it was over, I shut the tv off and told her to get her bed ready and pick out a story.

Well, the tears that followed were INCREDIBLE! She was crying so hard that she was practically hyperventilating. I read somewhere that you should always try to be sympathetic to your kid's tears, so I tried. I told her that I understood she felt sad because she loves that movie but that we could always watch it another day. I hugged her and told her I loved her but still tried to get her ready for bed.

After 15 minutes, my patience was thin. All I could think was this sympathizing stuff is total garbage. I get that she's sad but it's tv for crying out loud! All I wanted was for her to go to bed! It didn't help that Lilly was doing her normal 'I'm not in mommy's arms so I'm going to scream/cry for as long as it takes for mommy to come and get me.'

So, after 15 minutes, I told her that if she did not stop crying and pick out her story then there would be no story tonight. Finally, she stopped, had a story read to her, and I was exhausted.

It didn't stop there. The past couple of days have been filled with tv requests and theatrics when the request is denied. I feel like I totally missed the mark here because obviously what I thought was just background noise was more to her.

So, our new rule (started yesterday), is to have very limited tv in our house. We are getting back to listening to music for background noise and movie nights will be a special exception to the rule. I'm not going to lie, the tv will go on everyday but only for carefully selected shows and then off it goes when it's over. I refuse to have a 2 year old get that emotional over something so silly.

And yes, I did tell her that I thought that what she crying over was actually silly but that was only after my patience for the situation was nonexistent.

So, as much as I see the learning value in some shows and as easy as it is to keep it on, I have to change my mind on how much tv is a good thing. Parenting is about being flexible and making changes when necessary and this change has to be made.

Proves once again that once I think I know what works, I realize that I have no idea!

Too Many Works in Progress

2012-01-25T07:50:00.000-05:00

I envy those DIY blogs that always seem to have new things to post. Where do they find the time for it all? The space to keep there supplies? The concentration to complete a project? Not only do I get bored with a project that doesn't turn out right on the first try but I will get bored before I even start because I've had to much time to think about it.

I've had a blank canvas since November that was supposed to become something close to this:

Source: etsy.com via Kasey on Pinterest

And I have about 15 plain glass ornaments.

The finished products were supposed to look like these and were supposed to be Christmas presents. I started ONE!

Source: iheartnaptime.net via Kasey on Pinterest

Source: bhg.com via Kasey on Pinterest

Poor Lilly, she has the least going on in her room. The wall behind her bed was supposed to have a tree similar to this on it.

Source: etsy.com via Kasey on Pinterest

And how about this scarf that I started a whole year ago? I missed a stitch somewhere and ended up taking half of it out and now it just sits there, waiting to be finished!

I never even made Abby a baby book and have been 'working' on a photo album of her first 2 years for months (she'll be 3 in April). I know I need to get moving because soon I'll forget what I even want to put in there!

All these half started projects (or supplies for projects that I didn't start yet) wind up in my room which now looks more like a dumping ground than a master bedroom. It's such an easy spot to store things because it's so big and so far from being 'done'. Our walls are practically bare because we're waiting to decorate until we paint (of course I already have the stencil I want to use on one of the walls) and the furniture we own barely fills the room so there's lots of room to pile things. I guess you can say that the entire room is a work in progress!

This is it though, I'm doing my own intervention. No more purchasing supplies until SOMETHING is completely. I'm promising myself that one thing will be checked off the list by the end of February. Anything but the ornaments because that ship has pretty much sailed until next year. Or the scarf because I don't think I have the patience for that. But I promise to finish SOMETHING! I vow to not go into Michaels until I actually accomplish something. Well, unless it's for something to do with Abby because that's different, right?

Anyone else have the hardest time completing a project? I need to know I'm not alone!

An Open Letter to the New England Patriots

2012-01-23T15:00:00.001-05:00

Dear New England Patriots:

I really wish that you didn't make it into the Super Bowl this year. I mean, it's good for you but not so much for me. I will now spend the next two weeks with an antsy husband who will be reviewing plays and stats as if his life depended on it. I will spend the entire day of game praying for a win because he will act like a HUGE baby if you don't. Seriously, you would think that he had big money on the game or he was actually part of the team. Actually, I think there might be times that the lines between fantasy and reality are blurred and he might actually think he's one of you:

At Patriots Place in August 2010 after we watched you practice. Highlight of my life!

I will never forget when you lost to the Giants during your undefeated year. I remember nothing about the game but I do remember the look on my husband's face. His world collapsed. I'm pretty sure he loves you more than he loves me (as for Tom Brady, I KNOW he loves you more). I have come to terms with that and accept it. I dealt with the loss by laughing as he dropped to his knees in disbelief. I know it wasn't the most sympathetic response, but sometimes it feels good to see the 'other woman' fail miserably.

The loss was magnified by the fact that I am from East Rutherford, NJ: the home of the Giants. Can you imagine what he has to listen to at family get togethers? To top it all off, we drive right passed Giant Stadium (or whatever they call it now). Trust me, you don't even want to be in the car at the end of our 4 hour road trip! Oh, the hostility!

Please, for me and the sake of my girls, win on February 5th. I do not want my kids to see their Dad cry because it will make them cry and we have enough crying around here.

And you guys WON! Imagine what a loss looks like around here!

Sincerely,

Wife of a Pats Fan Who is Totally Dreading a Repeat

Focus Friday: Doing the Best I Can

2012-01-20T14:11:00.001-05:00

As a mom, I pride myself on being able to juggle everything: housework, play time, groceries/menu planning, discipline, snuggle time, etc etc etc! There are days that things aren't balanced and those are the days that I try to reassess and learn so that I am better prepared. As things change, our schedule changes too. What worked 2 weeks ago may not work now... I try to be flexible.

I devote my life to being a mom. Days without my girls are few and far between and thats ok. Sure, there are days that I want to run away or go back to work but I am grateful to be the one who comforts them. laughs with them, and teaches them.

I take my job seriously. So, when someone makes a comment about how one of my girls may not be getting enough attention, it stings. It feels like an attack on me, on who I am. I know the comment wasn't said to hurt me, but it did.

Are there times that Lilly needs more attention? Yes. Are there times that I am forced to let Lilly cry so that I can focus on Abby? Yes. This is life. Everyone who has ever had a a sibling has gone through the same emotions. Does the child who WANTS attention feel pushed aside a little bit when the other child NEEDS attention? Sure. Do I sympathize? As the oldest of 5, of course I do. It's a lesson thats impossible to avoid: Sometimes we don't get everything we want, but hopefully we get everything that we need.

I'm trying not to let the comment someone made bother me because the truth is that I am doing the best I can. I KNOW this. But, it's nagging at me because it hit right on the 'mommy guilt' button. We all have one, whether we stay home with our kids or go to work. We have the greatest responsibility anyone could ever have: raising a child into a well adjusted adult. It's a responsibility that none of us have a handbook for. There is no fool proof method. No right or wrong. Just, intuition and hope. Even if one day is bad, we hopefully have hundreds more to make up for it.

I am trying to focus on what I know. Knowing that every choice I make is made with them in mind. I try to take advantage of each moment with them... I do the BEST I possibly can.

So, my focus today is on my crazy toddler. In a quiet moment, when Lilly was content and sleeping, we got a little silly and Abby LOVED every moment!

Cutest kitty cat ever!

I Must Confess...

2012-01-15T20:46:00.001-05:00

I just ate ALMOST an entire box of these:

I let Abby eat THREE at snack time. I, trying to set a good example, ate three with her and shoveled the rest in while hiding in the kitchen.

Once I realized what I had done, I tried to make up for it by having hummus and pita for dinner with some fruit on the side.

Except that left me hungry so I grabbed more cookies.

Damn you Mother Nature for making me a woman with ZERO will power! And damn you Entenmann's for making bite size cookies!

Focus Friday

2012-01-13T08:00:00.000-05:00

Marianne Williamson

The weather this week has been absolutely amazing! I know there are a lot of you out there hoping for some snow (including Abby) but I am LOVING these mild temperatures. I've been a bit down about my weight, it's stayed the same for the most part but that's my own fault. I decided that this week I NEEDED start exercising. Not an easy task with a toddler and infant so we got out walking twice this week.

First, we headed over to Jefferson Patterson Park which has a really cool Indian Village. I love it here because I can let Abby run freely and much of the path is paved so it's easy to walk with the stroller. And yes, those are bones she's playing with... strange, right?

We even took a little detour closer to the water, an area we haven't been to yet.

Then I had the bright idea to go on a real adventure and take the girls to the zoo. We're about an hour away from DC and I love when we get the chance to take advantage of all the free stuff it has to offer. We usually take the Metro in but I decided against such a long ride with 'Screaming Lilly' so we drove (you're very welcome fellow Metro riders!). I guess January doesn't bring many people to the zoo which made it our nicest visit yet! Even the animals were happy to see us!

It was actually this little guys birthday!

The day at the zoo took a lot out of Abby and my girl who hasn't ridden in a stroller in almost a year insisted on being driven back to the car. We already went out and bought a Sit and Stand Stroller in case this happens again!

There was one morning that kind of got the best of me and I woke up kinda grumpy (being woken up 2-3 times a night will do that to a person!). But then I looked outside and saw this:

What a pretty start to a day (that began way too early)!

Relaxed or Strict About TV?

2012-01-12T14:36:00.001-05:00

When Abby was first born, I was totally against allowing her to watch tv. It was easy to say that I would NEVER allow her to watch it when she slept 14 hours a day. That changed once she became mobile and I realized that tv allowed me to shower in peace. Since then, I've become very relaxed about the tv because it doesn't seem to stop her from playing for more than a few minutes at a time. I'll be honest, now it's on almost all day in the background and I do feel that she learns from the shows she's allowed to watch.

I'm still strict about what shows she watches but I don't typically sit and watch them with her. I trust that networks like Sprout or Nick JR will only play shows that have educational value appropriate for toddlers. Well, last night I realized that what I think is appropriate and what they think is appropriate are two different things. I am now second guessing my whole relaxed attitude on tv.

I was sitting there holding Lilly (who seems to want to be held at all times) while Abby was watching a show that we don't typically watch but it was on one of my 'go to' networks and I was amazed at how badly one of the characters was behaving. The character didn't get his way so he was stomping his feet, pouting, throwing things and eventually hit one of the other characters. Granted, at the end the life lesson was to use our words and never hit but I feel that kids will emulate behavior they see before they apply life lessons that they hear.

I made sure to talk to her while we were watching the show and pointing out that the behavior was bad and that's not how we act but when it was time to clean up for bed later that night, she actually pouted her lip and said I'm mad just like she saw the character on tv do! Now, maybe I made too big a deal of it or maybe she heard my husband and I talking about it but maybe that's what she learned from the show. I'm not sure why she behaved that way but I do know that she had never used those exact words or actions before. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't say that she's happy to clean up and go to bed but my request is always met with negotiations ("2 more minutes, Mama? No, 1 more minutes?)

I know there are some people who are relaxed like me and others who are completely opposite. I guess now I'm going to fall somewhere in the middle and not trust the network but actually watch these shows with Abby to make sure they are appropriate. It's hard enough to correct typical toddler behavior so I don't need characters on tv to reinforce it.

Where do you all fall on the tv debate? Do you find that some shows geared towards kids reinforce behavior that you are trying to correct?

I Knew What I Wanted

2012-01-06T22:21:00.001-05:00

I knew what I wanted.

At 16, I knew I didn't want to live in Pennsylvania.

At 18, I knew I wanted to go to college. In Pennsylvania and not too far from home.

At 20, I knew I wanted to go to grad school in Pennsylvania.

At 21, I knew I wanted to leave school and help my Mom who was diagnosed with breast cancer.

At 22, I knew I wanted to have fun and be single.

At 23, I knew I wanted the man I loved to come from Iraq safely.

At 24, I knew I wanted to still live in Pennsylvania close to my family but with my then boyfriend.

At 25, I knew I wanted to be married and support my soon to be husband so I knew I wanted to move to Maryland.

At 26, I knew I wanted to finally finish my degree and start a career.

At 27, I knew I wanted to be a mom and my career wasn't so important.

At 28, I never knew I wanted to have another baby.

Now, at almost 31, I know that I never really knew what I wanted. What I wanted and what I have now are different. Different and better. I have more than I ever thought I wanted or would have. I am grateful for lost dreams and the bends in my journey that put me in the place I am now.

I always think of what would have happened if I had all the things I thought I wanted. I would never have ended up in some random bar in upstate New York. I would never have been introduced to my husband, a New England fan from Massachusetts. I wouldn't be where I am right now, on my couch with my 2 little girls napping away and my husband watching some cheesy 80's movie next to me.

I am blessed to not have gotten what I wanted.

Focus Friday

2012-01-06T00:06:00.000-05:00

Marianne Williamson

I love this quote because I find myself getting so caught up in what's going on that I forget to find the good in things. That's why I took such a long break from blogging. I was just too focused on life's problems and I never wanted this to be a place where I vented. Trust me, sometimes I have wanted to just spew all my negativity but I hate the thought of having my knee jerk reaction documented. My feelings about things tend to change frequently and quickly once I calm down. Unfortunately, sometimes it's hard to tear yourself away from the negativity.

Since I got this snazzy new camera for Christmas, I figure that the best way to focus on the positive is to photograph it. Make a sort of weekly collage of the positive things. The sweet things. Things like this little bambina...

Or that fact that Abby thought I was lonely because Dan's been working nights and decided to leave me a friend to cuddle with:

My goal for this new year is to quit dwelling on the negative and to be thankful for all the good. I need to slow down and take the time to laugh and love. Because there are people who I am grateful to have in my and my daughters life.

I hope to make this a weekly thing... kind of like a week in review of all the goodness that life has to offer. Because even though I still have to work my way through the stressful stuff, there are things that make that all worthwhile and I need a reminder.

Christmas Memories

2011-12-27T08:12:00.000-05:00

Sadly, Christmas is over. All that build up and in a blink of an eye it's over. POOF!

Abby had a super exciting day and has not put her Jesse toy down since she opened it! It even came shopping with us yesterday (for the record, shopping the day after Christmas is not a good idea with 2 kids... AAHHHHH).

I hope that Santa was as good to all of you as he was to me! I got a snazzy new camera that is so fancy, I was actually afraid to open the box! I have got a lot to learn but I'm super excited! My husband is too good to me sometimes!

One of the gifts that meant the most was actually not given to me, but to Abby. Attached to her gift bag from my Aunt was an ornament. We thought it was so strange that the ornament had a G on it but I thought that maybe she just hadn't noticed it. Turns out, this was one of my Mom's ornaments from when she was about 18 and they lived together. It's been on my Aunt's tree every year since then and she decided to take it off this year and give it to us. How sweet is that?

The cool part is, that me and Dan collect ornaments. Most of our ornaments are sentimental and hold memories from places we go. Our wedding favors were even handmade ornaments!

We started during when Dan came home from Iraq and we went to Niagara Falls. Unfortunately, that one is lost somewhere in the tree right now... can you see it because I can't!

I even have an ornament given to me by my Grandmother on my very first Christmas.

I'm crazy when it comes to labeling because one year there were a bunch that I wasn't sure where they came from. Now that the season is over, all of these ornaments and memories attached to them will get tucked away in a closet. We'll collect new ones throughout the year and reminisce as we decorate for Christmas 2012!

Hope you all had a Merry Merry Christmas and I wish you all a very Happy New Year!!

Fa La La La La

2011-12-21T14:21:00.002-05:00

We are in full Christmas mode but have so much left to do! Abby is literally counting down the days until Santa comes! She still won't take a picture with him but was ambushed yesterday. We went to see some Christmas lights and Santa was there. She debated whether to go see him but she couldn't resist the candy cane!

I wish I was just a little quicker!

We've also been spending time making salt dough ornaments, which is apparently serious business!

And, making (eating) a gingerbread choo choo train!

Oh, and we've been wrapping presents like crazy. Well, the ones that are here. Did I mention I have a terrible habit of mailing things to the wrong address? I know I'm an airhead! A few months ago I had something mailed to my old apartment, which my old landlord thankfully intercepted for me. This time I had stuff mailed to my mom's house which is where my brothers still live. So, wrapping won't officially be done until Christmas Eve but we're close!

Tonight starts the baking extravaganza! Too much to do and too little time, especially with an infant who has a tendency to scream from 8 til 11 at night! I feel an all nighter coming up soon!

What are you all up to for the holidays?

No Momma... No Santa!!!

2011-12-13T08:00:00.000-05:00

We have been hyping up Christmas around here since before Thanksgiving mainly because we love Christmas and partly because Abby is totally fascinated with Halloween still. This is the first year that she actually 'gets' the holidays which is super fun to be a part of.

However, we did not anticipate that she would fear Santa. It's something I really wish I would have known prior to going to a tree lighting and standing in line freezing my buns off for an hour. All was good until we had an 'accident'. You know, the 'I've been doing so good at potty training that my parents forgot to remind me to use the potty before we stood in line for an hour' type of accident. Here we are, in line, just me and the girls and Abby announces "I have to go pee pee momma."

I try to quickly think where, in this crowd of hundreds of people, I could take her and Lilly who is in a stroller. I am quietly cursing my husband and dad for going to get food at the worst time because clearly they should have known this would happen. I try to ask her if she can hold it for a minute and she panics while screaming, "I HAVE TO GO PEE PEE!" By the time the words came out of her mouth, she was already going. AWESOME!

The nice people in line ahead of us tell me that they'll hold our place in line but, more importantly, let my husband know where I went since I (of course) forgot my cell phone. Not that it matters because Dan never carries his phone anyway, but that's a whole other story.

We try to maneuver as quickly as possible to the nearest bathroom. Big clunky stroller, hysterical toddler, and crowds do not mix! We make our way to the nearest coffee shop and are second in line, thanks for nothing lady who wouldn't let us go first!!!

So, we clean up and go back to line. I'm sweating but Abby seems happy again so we're good, or so I thought. We get back in line a few minutes before the parade starts and the excitement of seeing Santa starts to build.

Well, for all the kids but mine. Abby becomes hysterical again. "No Mama, No Santa. I no like Santa!"

What?!? Who doesn't like Santa? Totally crazy! We thought that she would eventually come around but no such luck. She was begging us to take her home. She wouldn't even glance at the parade. She wrapped herself around whoever would hold her with a death grip. I felt like I was literally torturing her with every extra minute we stood there.

Needless to say, after an hour in line and a pee pee fiasco behind us, we had to leave without seeing Jolly Old St. Nick because Abby doesn't like him.

You would think that this would mean that we could go ahead and skip the whole present thing but apparently the big guy is good enough to bring her gifts because she has requested:

Lightning McQueen
Beast (from Beauty and the Beast but I think she means Belle)
A Horse (black one and a brown one)
Snacks
Snow White
Pooh Bear Movie
Mickey Mouse
Water
Puddles
Doll house
Doodle Bear
Jessie Doll

Does anyone know how to gift wrap puddles?

Bye Bye Baby Weight!

2011-12-11T10:54:00.001-05:00

One of the best parts about having a baby, aside from the obvious being Lilly, is losing the weight after. I have always struggled with my weight and gained entirely too much with both pregnancies. It wasn't as big of an issue after Abby because I was still smaller than I ever was at my heaviest. This time it's different because I was still carrying the extra fluff from the first time so even though I gained less with Lilly, I am now heavier than I have ever been.

That was enough to make me really WANT to change things this time, hopefully for good. So, 5 weeks have gone by and I'm down about 25 lbs by just eating healthier! WOO HOO!! I had a little setback with Thanksgiving (far too many cookies and too few people to share them with) but I finally made up for it!

The biggest hurdle I've always had to overcome was saying NO to all the goodies. I'm a snacker and if I have it in the house then I'll eat it. I mean, I will go to bed wanting it and then wake up craving it and will not be satisfied until it's gone which leaves me feeling guilty. I will quite literally hide in the kitchen stuffing my face! Yes, I am a fat kid at heart.

Holidays are the worse because they revolve around food, especially the cookies and cakes. The thought of limiting what we bake is painful to even think about! So, my goal is to lose at least 5 lbs by Christmas so that I don't set myself back to where I was for Thanksgiving. It's going to take a lot of planning and will power but I'm in because my long term goal is to lose 40 more... 20 will put me back to where I was pre-Lilly and another 20 will put me back to where I was pre-Abby.

I plan on keeping you all updated throughout my journey and would love to hear any tips or tricks you may have!

Fast and Furious!

2011-12-01T19:02:00.001-05:00

No pregnancy is ever complete without the birth story and the story of Lilly's arrival is definitely entertaining... to all those who didn't have to experience the pain!

Since Abby was 2 weeks early, I figured Lilly would be too. I at least knew enough to be ready. So, I was pretty much packed and had all the important numbers I needed to get in touch with Dan and my sister.

Here's a quick breakdown of how Lilly arrived:

October 27th (our wedding anniversary): 3 cm dilated so every twinge put me on high alert. That made for a great dinner celebration, let me tell ya!

October 31st (Halloween): Still not here but now my back is starting to hurt so I was sure tonight would be the night! I was confident that all the walking would accelerate the process. When I started having contractions that night, I called Dan home but by the time he got here they were gone. OOPS, false alarm!

Fearing that I'd become the 'girl who cried labor', I started keeping things to myself so that I would be sure the next time. Days went by and on November 2nd I went back to the doc and was still only 3 cm dilated.

That night, I started having contractions again but I kept telling myself it could be because of the exam. So, I kept things to myself until later that night. When they were 3 to 4 minutes apart but not too strong I called Dan to come home again. Since they weren't strong and sometimes only lasted about 5 seconds I figured this was another false alarm and tried to get some sleep. My thoughts were that if I could sleep then it's not labor because no one could possibly sleep through labor, right!?!

Around 3, my contractions woke me up but they still weren't steady nor were they that strong. My water had broken with Abby so I thought it would break this time too. Even though it hadn't, I called the hospital and asked them what I should do. They said that since my contractions weren't steady and were only lasting anywhere from 5 to 30 seconds then I probably wasn't in true labor. She told me to stay home until they were about a minute long unless the pain increased.

So, I stayed home. Almost a BIG mistake! Thankfully, Dan and I started getting ready anyway just in case. A couple hours later, I took a shower and by the time I got out I could hardly move to get dressed! In true airhead fashion, I wasn't sure if this was it. The contractions still weren't a minute long but now they were coming every minute or less! Off to the hospital we went!

The 15 minute car ride was unbearable! We pulled up at 5:37 and Lilly was born at 6:33... after the longest hour of my life! No epidural meant there were lots of 'mother effers' thrown out there (sorry nurses!) and my poor husband definitely got beat up a bit (only a little sorry for that)! The doctor literally walked in, suited up, and she was out in two contractions! Fast and furious for sure but well worth it!

So, lesson learned. Contractions will not always be a minute long or steady. For those of you who are expecting, if you think it could be labor then it probably is! I probably could have had her in the car on the side of the road! Thank god it wasn't too bumpy of a ride!

Here I Am Again... with Someone New to Introduce!

2011-11-28T15:42:00.000-05:00

Could it be... am I actually going to update this little blog of mine?

Yup I am!!!

After a long hiatus and a couple random posts in between, I've decided to try my hand at blogging one more time. I miss it... lots.

It's not that I haven't had tons that I've wanted to write about, because trust me when I say that there is always something going on, but I've been focused too much on the negative things going on. This blog was meant to be a place where I celebrate the bright side of things or poke fun at the things that drive me crazy. Unfortunately, laughing at things was hard for a little while. Maybe my pregnancy hormones were affected my brain because I was just dwelling on negativity. So, finding inspiration was hard even when I know it shouldn't have been.

But, I'm starting to think of things a little different. I'm slowly starting to feel like my old self. The things that were troubling me are still there and will tug at my heart until they change but I need to focus on the good things.

Good things.... like my girls! Yup, Lilly was born on November 3 and she is absolutely adorable!

Of course, to me she was instantly just another member of our family and I loved her to pieces. I wasn't sure how Abby would react towards her. For months she's been waiting for her to come out of my belly. For months she's been talking to her and giving my belly kisses. But all that is way different than seeing a real life baby! It amazed me and warmed my heart to see how she instantly accepted her as her sister. She adores her and can't wait to see her every morning.

How proud is she? She's the best big sister! And she put that awesome outfit together all by herself too!

On the other hand, she has become a bit more clingy and she's been testing us a bit but I'm sure we'll work that through.

So, now that I got my mind retrained to focus on all the goodness in my life, I promise I'm back! Can't wait to catch up with all of you!!

Here I Am!!!

2011-08-25T21:10:00.000-04:00

Wow, another long break in blogging for me. It has really been hard for me to keep up with blogging during this pregnancy (and really hope you all are still reading). I am just so TIRED!!! I am also an emotional basket case... up and down, up and down... I just never know how I'm going to feel from one moment to the next. It's frustrating, especially for my poor husband.

Other than mood swings and being tired all the time, this pregnancy has been going great. I'm 28 weeks along and had to take my sugar test today. I am a little nervous for the results since I had gestational diabetes last time. In anticipation of not being able to eat anything fun soon, I stopped at Panera on my way home from the test for a bagel and an iced caramel latte with soy milk and whip cream.

After that last statement, I'm sure no one is surprised that I gained a little too much wait this past month. Oh, and the month before. Oops! But in the big picture my weight gain is on track. Basically, I gained very little the first few months but made up for it this past two. It will always amaze me how such an itty bitty baby could make a person so hungry!

In my own defense, I have been working out regularly. I love my Youtube exercise videos (I highly recommend this series of workouts) and run 1.5 miles 3 to 4 times a week on the elliptical. It's not crazy intense but it's something. So, I'm hoping this extra weight gain is more baby than fluff but we shall see.

By far the cutest part about being pregnant is Abby's reaction. She can not wait to meet baby sister! She's been to the past few doctor appointments with me and behaves shockingly well! Except for the time when she was confused why baby sister was still in my belly and kept lifting my shirt yelling, "OPEN MOMMA!" Guess she was ready for baby sister to be here. I'm hoping that she's just as excited once she's here!

Notice how I referred to her as "baby sister?" Well, the prepared parents that we are have yet to pick a name. Or order a crib. Or move my sister out of her room (and into the bedroom downstairs). Or get a car seat. Or get anything else one would need to care for a newborn baby. With Abby, things were ready so early! We had a name, a plan, we were good to go! This time... not so much. It's crunch time!

One last thing to catch you up in this long update. I am forever in awe of how fast Abby grows and changes. When we went on vacation last year, she absolutely hated the sand and the water. This year, she was such a brave girl. We couldn't keep her out of the water and the sand! Not to mention how many more rides she was able to go on at the amusement park and all by herself too! It's amazing to see how quick things change. I can't wait to see what next year's vacation is like with baby sister!

When She Grows Up...

2011-07-18T15:14:00.000-04:00

Everyday Abby learns something new and everyday she makes me laugh. One of the things that I love to do is just watch her play. Sometimes I wonder if I'm getting a sneak peak into her future and seeing the start of a life long passion.

For example, she LOVES shoes. She insists on wearing new shoes out of the store. Her love of shoes recently went a step further when I saw her doing this:

I asked her what she was doing and she told me that those were her shoes! There she goes designing her own shoes already! Perhaps she'll be a fashion designer!

Then theres her love of singing and dancing. I mean take a look at this face... is she a future rock star or what?

Then theres her natural artistic ability. The concentration. The use of colors. Totally a budding artist!

Or maybe tattoo artist?

I can't forget the drama. She literally stood in front of oven one day, staring at her reflection and practicing her sad face. She has even learned to cry on demand! Maybe she'll be an actress or a model?

The possibilities are endless!

It's Hard to Believe 2 Years Have Gone By

2011-07-07T12:48:00.000-04:00

Here we are at the 2 year mark. Two years since my Mom has been here. It's hard to believe. There are so many times I still want to call her. Sometimes whether I told her something or whether she was somewhere is fuzzy... I can picture her talking to me about something but then realize it would be impossible. She was just always there, always available to chat so sometimes my mind plays tricks on me.

It's crazy to think of all the things that she wasn't here for. The little things. Abby's first words and steps. The funny things she does. The gossip from family get togethers. Then there's the big things. A new baby. A new home. Family tensions.

She's been missed, by so many. The longer she's gone, the more I learn, the more I admire her. The pain is still just as raw but it surfaces a little less now. I'm sure it will always be there. I try not to focus on the sadness because I know I need to move forward.

I read this the other day in Mitch Albom's book "Have a Little Faith" and I thought I would share. It follows a story as told by Rabbi Albert Lewis during one of his sermons.

"My friends, if we tend to the things that are important in life, if we are right with those we love and behave in line with our faith, our lives will not be cursed with the aching throb of unfulfilled business. Our words will always be sincere, our embraces will be tight. We will never wallow in the agony of 'I could have, I should have.' We can sleep in a storm. And when it's time, our good byes will be complete."

There is no greater lesson we can learn and losing my Mom so young has taught me this lesson well. Do what's right, treat people right and keep your regrets to a minimum. Make sure the ones you love know it and try hard to bite your tongue when you're angry. When I think back to how I treated my Mom, I think I was pretty good to her. However, there are some things that I wish I wouldn't have said or done. I was young, stressed, tired.... so many excuses. But those moments are ones I can't get back. I try to remind myself daily to not make the same mistake but it's sometimes hard. All a person can do is try.

Mom, I miss you every day and I am forever grateful that our last words to one another were "I love you."

Celebrating with a BBQ, Fireworks, and Reptiles?!?

2011-07-05T17:11:00.000-04:00

The 4th of July always meant big family parties when I was a kid. There would be family, food, and laughs and a strong sense of patriotism. Over the years the party has gotten smaller as family has moved away, including myself. With Dan's schedule as crazy as it is (he's working midnights right now) and family 4 hours away or more, we typically celebrate some holidays much smaller than my childhood memories. Small is not always a bad thing because we're flexible enough to pick and choose what we want to do and yesterday proved to be a crazy sort of day filled with surprises.

My sister and I took Abby to a bouncy house first thing in the morning. She had an absolute blast! She's one of the toughest kids I've ever met and held her own with the older kids. I held my breathe half the time and after 45 minutes my nerves were just shot! We left, she cried hysterically, and went for lunch where they gave her all the necessary accessories to become a pirate! Awesome!

After a much needed nap (not for me unfortunately), we sang some patriotic songs. I discovered 2 things: one, I have forgotten most of what I learned as a child and two, there is a serious shortage of upbeat patriotic songs.

When ~~I finally woke Dan up~~ Dan finally woke up, we went outside to BBQ and have some fun in the sprinkler before getting ready for fireworks.

This is where it gets a little crazy. We drove all the way to the fireworks and paid $5 to park our car. We walked from our car to the actual fireworks location which took about 40 minutes since Abby refuses to use a stroller (and hasn't for at least 6 months now). At which point, Dan looks at me and says there is no way we're getting back to the car and getting home in time for him to be a work. So, after a million "What do you want to do? I don't know... What do you want to do?", we walked back to the car and made our way out of the busy lot to find a location further away but less crowded to see fireworks.

The only way to get Abby to go faster than the first walk was to promise her ice cream so we stopped at McDonald's on our way. As we walk out of our car we see this:

and this:

Apparently the owner of these animals rescues them and does kids parties. I'm still confused as to why he was outside McD's but it was interesting to say the least. Abby, as always, was fearless and enjoyed eating her ice cream cone surrounded by Boa Constrictors!

We then left McD's and could not decide where the best place to park was. We also couldn't figure out where to look. We also couldn't figure out what time it would actually start. Finally, we decided to drive over the bridge and back. As luck would have it, traffic on the bridge closed on our way back as soon as the fireworks started so we got to see the show from what I think was the best spot! Abby's face was priceless!

I hope you and your family had an fun filled holiday!

STILL HERE!!

2011-06-30T14:56:00.000-04:00

Hi Everyone!!

Well, it's been way too long since the last time I posted. I have a million excuses. We've been busy and I've been tired... and hormonal. My emotions with this pregnancy are all over the place and there are some days that I feel down right depressed. If I'm not happy than I don't write because who wants to listen to me be a downer? I don't even like myself when I'm like that!

So, anyways... we got some good news today! Much to my surprise, we're having another girl!! I'm so excited but totally shocked! Everything is so different with this pregnancy that I was convinced I was having a boy. After 3 checks from the ultrasound tech today we are 100% certain that my intuition was wrong!

The cutest thing ever had to be when we gave Abby the picture of her baby sister. She smiled ear to ear. Held it all the way to the store and while we were shopping. She showed it off to woman at the register. Proud as can be! I hope she stays that happy to be a big sister once November gets here!

So, for now, I leave you with a picture of Baby Girl #2. I hope to not be gone for so long this time because I miss blogging a lot. Not blogging has caused me to become addicted to entirely too many tv shows.. NCIS is my newest fave and I even found myself watching a NY Ink marathon the other day! Hope everything is going good in your neck of the woods!

2011-05-02T12:52:00.000-04:00

First, I really need to say a big Thank You to all of our troops! Let's pray that today marks a turning point for our world to return to peace again so that all of our troops can start coming home!

So, I really didn't intend to take such a long blogging break. I thought that confronting my block would help but life has been a bit hectic and this little blog of mine has been terribly neglected. Honestly, I have only been spending about a fraction of the time I normally do online. The strangest thing is that I still don't feel like I have gotten any thing extra accomplished with my day. Go figure!

The first exciting thing to happen these past few weeks was that we went out and finally bought a new car! I can not tell you how happy I am to finally have some wheels on the days that Dan works. I am not too happy about the payment but I guess that's just the way it works. I am also not too happy that gas prices are so incredibly ridiculous which makes road trips still hard to plan. If only I could just win the lottery!!

We also had a very special birthday to celebrate! Abby's 2nd birthday was filled with lots of family and fun. The party was on Sunday but half the party showed up the day before so it was a jam packed weekend! All the cleaning, planning and cooking was definitely worth it because Abby had a blast!

Then we took her back to Clark's Farm on her actually birthday so she could run around and pet some of the animals. She loved it!! I tried to recreate some of the photos we took the year before but she isn't all that cooperative in front of the camera. She either doesn't look at me or she runs up to me yelling "Cheese!" which makes my picture look like this:

We also got a new room mate! My sister decided she wanted to live closer so she's going to be staying with us for a while. I have been so far away from family for the past few years so I couldn't be happier having her here! Abby is absolutely loving all of the extra attention too.

We were also lucky enough to have some beautiful weather so we've been trying to get outside to enjoy it. We did some Easter egg hunting and we even walked to our local beach! Abby can't wait to jump in the water!

And the biggest news! The news that I have been dying to share but wanted to tell my Grandmother in person before I told any of my bloggy buddies is......

Yup... baby #2 is on it's way! The expected due date is November 19th and I am super excited! This wasn't exactly a planned thing but it's definitely a happy surprise. This is probably the biggest reason that I haven't been blogging lately. This baby has totally wiped me out. I was nauseous day and night and just looking at the computer screen was making my world spin. Thankfully, I think I'm slowly getting past that and I'm hoping it's smooth sailing from now until November.

So, there you have it. We've been celebrating some pretty big things... birthdays, Easter, pregnancy... oh my! We've also had lots of visitors and my sister moved in. All that on top of morning sickness! But, the good news is that I'm back and I can't wait to catch up with all of you!

I Ain't Got Nuffin'

2011-03-31T14:40:00.001-04:00

I have 3 posts in draft right now. I also just deleted a 3 paragraph post about 10 seconds ago.

I am blocked. There is nothing that I feel really compelled to write about except for one thing. The problem is that it's the one thing that I can't share... right now.

I think we are all careful what we write sometimes, good or bad. It's not an easy thing though because sometimes the one the thing you can't right about is the biggest thing going on.

Like I said, I keep trying to write something but it feels fake. It feels forced. So, I just keep going back to the drawing board.

I promise I'll be back. I promise I'll fill you in and won't be so vague. I promise that sometime soon I'll have something to write that I'm allowed to write about. Soon.....

But for now I'll leave you with a funny website that you'll hopefully find as hilarious as I did! http://damnyouautocorrect.com/

Midnight Snack?

2011-03-23T14:22:00.000-04:00

There were times in college that I'd be studying for a big test and I would fall asleep right there on my books. I would always hope that I absorbed some knowledge through osmosis but my test results would disprove this theory.

Abby, on the other hand, may be on to something. She loves books and even asks for a book when she goes to bed. How cute, right?

Well, I recently discovered that she has a very nontraditional way of getting her knowledge as well.

Does ingesting a book make you really smart?

Spring Cleaning

2011-03-15T20:32:00.000-04:00

Homeownership has definitely been a learning experience. We had the mouse incident a while back. Then recently we learned that our two upstairs toilets were not installed properly, hence the rock I felt every time I sat down. Now that the weather is nicer, we tried to install the screens we have in the basement only to find out that only two of them fit our current windows. Then the normal stuff, like all the extra cleaning that two floors of living space entails.

Oh, and need I forget the painting. When I originally came up with my vision of paint colors, Dan said no problem. He found painting relaxing. I believe "zen" was the word he used. So we went big... paint the walls, trim, the bedroom would have this fancy stencil work that I saw on Color Splash, and even refinish the bedroom furniture. By the time we got to the living room, Dan's definition of zen had changed. He no longer finds it relaxing and the hallway is where the re-do ends for now.

I'm not complaining though because I LOVE our new home. It's just been an interesting ride these past few months. There has been a lot to learn. A lot of things to worry about that we never had to before. It's kind of fun to take care of a home that we actually own.

Now, we're on to the outside since Abby's birthday is next month and we are hoping the weather is nice enough to have a barbecue. Let me say, gardening is not my strong point. More specifically, being around bugs is not my strong point. I have been trying to be brave since we have a mounds and mounds of leaves. The past few days we've been spending lots of time outside chipping away at the work.

That's when I saw the one bug that I can handle. The one bug that makes me think of Spring whenever I see it. I love it so much that I actually decorated Abby's room with them.

Ladybugs!! I was so excited to point it out to Abby when I saw it. She loved watching it crawl around on the wood. Than she tried to sit on it! Haha! We spotted it 2 days ago and she's been looking for every day since.

Hope your seeing signs of Spring outside your home too!

The Strangest Thing

2011-03-14T08:14:00.000-04:00

I so one of the strangest things I have every seen yesterday while I was hiding from my family. My hiding spot of choice is the stairs leading up to the deck. As I was sitting there reading the comics, I saw a Sheriff pull up across the street.

I'm nosy, so I made sure I had a good view. I watched as the Sheriff jumped out the cruiser and started making his way up to the house. Then, I realized he was holding something. So, I moved a little to see what it was.

At first, I was in shock. He was holding Bambi's daddy's head by the antlers!!! He walked up the steps and right inside the home.

I ran in the house to tell Dan what I had seen.

Me: I just saw the strangest thing....

Dan: Ya, me too! I saw him pull up and opened the window so I could hear what was going on.

Me: I came inside for a better view!

Ha! I guess we're both nosy neighbors. It's so nice to be reminded that we have things in common!

Abby's New BFF

2011-03-10T07:36:00.000-05:00

I can handle my little beast of a dog barking at everything from people to inanimate objects.

I can handle my little beast of a dog going to the bathroom in my house because he's over excited or because he's mad at me.

I can handle my little beast of a dog acting like a crotchety old man when I do something he doesn't like.

I can't handle my little beast of a dog acting that way to Abby. I wish that after almost 2 years he would have warmed up to her. She loves him unconditionally and would do anything if it meant he would give her the time of day. Normally, the only time he wants to be even remotely close to her is when she's eating and she'll happily sacrifice her entire meal.

My in laws were visiting this past week and they brought their dog, Tessy, with them. Tessy couldn't be more different from my overgrown rat, JR. Tessy loves Abby and will tolerate all forms of abuse without so much as a snarl.

There is nothing cuter than a kid with a dog. She actually pointed to Tessy at one point and said "Tessy, I love you." They left yesterday and Abby has been asking for her all morning.

Is it wrong to want to exchange your dog for a better model for Abby's sake?

I LOL....

2011-03-02T08:01:00.000-05:00

Every time I turn my computer on and see this:

Seriously, this guys commercials crack me up. A special thank you to my husband who created this image!

No More Yo Yo... I Mean It!

2011-02-28T20:35:00.000-05:00

When Dan was in Iraq, I got a job working for LA Weight Loss. A job that I was sure I was too heavy for... I just kept thinking why would anyone want to take weight loss advice from me when I need to lose more than a few pounds? Well, they hired me anyway and I was so excited to start because I couldn't wait to learn how to eat healthy and then help other people who were just like me... struggling to eat good food and still lose weight.

The job was not a success for me for many reasons but the diet was. I lost about 30 lbs and felt great! I kept the weight off for a few years, fluctuating up and down here and there. Then, I got a job in an office as opposed to retail. Then, I got pregnant. Then, I got depressed.

Now, I'm right back where I started so many years ago. Now, the obstacles are different since I'm a stay at home mom. Now, I can't really afford to pay a weekly membership to have someone monitor my food diary or for the special food that makes the diet tolerable.

And now, my husband is following my lead. He went to the doctor today and was told his blood pressure is too high. No doubt because of our fantastic ability to always be out during lunch or dinner resulting in a lovely fast food meal.

Now, after all this time of mentioning losing weight, I'm dedicating myself to actually doing it. I'm tired of feeling uncomfortable in my own skin and would love to have more energy. We've been making little tweaks here and there but have a terrible habit of rewarding ourselves with food.

Next week will be rough though. Dan's parents are coming this Friday and visiting for a week which means lots of day trips and probably lots of eating out. My first goal is to plan and make some healthy desserts. My second goal is to eat a salad because I just learned that salads can actually taste good. They can, I SWEAR!

I never knew it, but I like spinach way more than I like lettuce. To me, lettuce was just a filler for a salad and did nothing for me. Spinach, on the other hand, is yummy! Especially with strawberries, feta cheese, almond slices and balsamic vinegar... delish!

I know a lot of people are probably just like me and have a hard time finding meals that are simple, tasty and healthy. During one of my many searches, I came across an awesome site. Gina's Skinny Recipes contains recipes for just about everything, only they are healthier versions. Her goal is to make weight watcher friendly meals, so it's great for anyone out there who counts points.

Most importantly, everything I have tried so far has been fabulous! Tonight we had the Turkey and Black Bean Enchilada and I loved it so much that I'm substituting it for the lasagna I was going to make next week. I'm an Italian girl, so that definitely says something!

I am desperately hoping that I'm strong enough to stick with my plans for next week because this extra fluff needs to go. With that, I leave you with a joke I heard on Facebook today:

I figured out why I'm so fat! The shampoo I use in the shower that runs down my body says "for extra volume and body". I'm going to start using Dawn dish washing soap. It says "dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove."

No Dull Moments Around Here!

2011-02-23T08:28:00.000-05:00

Is it too much to ask to be able to finish a cup of coffee before the day starts?

I love the morning hour (or half hour) where Abby eats her breakfast and plays while I drink my coffee and log on to the computer. I have a very small window of time where she is completely content playing on her own and it's just what I need to wake up and get in gear for the day.

It's 7:30 am and those moments didn't quite happen today.

We were up at 5:30 which is a bit too early for me. This is also too early for Abby but for some reason she insists on getting up before the sun. Days that start at 5:30 are never good, we are both typically pretty cranky.

She put her 'princess slippers' on first thing. Her 'princess slippers' are actually my slippers which are way to big and keep falling off of her. This makes her super frustrated when she's cranky so our morning routine, and the start of my cup of coffee, took longer than usual. It was 6:15 by the time I was ready to pour that first cup.

Right before I was ready to pour, I heard footsteps on the porch. Dan was home 2 hours early. Unusual.

He walked in but wasn't completely in his uniform which is a bad sign. He tells me he got into a car accident at 2 am and is ok but off work until Sunday. He's sore, tired, and no longer has a cruiser for work. Ah, the joys of marrying a police officer. They spend their whole day driving so accidents are bound to happen. Just another reason to worry!

We walk into the bedroom while he fills me in. Abby follows and wakes up the dog, who doesn't usually get up until after Dan gets home at 8. She refuses to leave the bedroom without the dog but if I let the dog out then I have to take him for his walk. I NEED MY COFFEE!!

Abby wins, the dog is let out of the bedroom and walked. I can finally have my cup of coffee while I talk a little more to my poor husband who is sore and feeling a bit down because he got into an accident. He's grateful that both he and the other person involved are ok but he's still shaken up.

At 7:15, I am still working on my first cup of coffee while Dan goes down to bed and Abby is busy walking the dog around the house. The dog hates this game but Abby loves it. She tries to sit on the bench in the living room, the dog tries to go the other way, and she whacks her face on the bench. And I see a bit of blood. Why does everyone have to get hurt in the same week? Can we catch a break please?

As I'm trying to inspect her, she is STILL trying to get the dog to do what she wants him to do. I guess it doesn't hurt her that bad but I wanted to see where she was hurt. So, I try to wrangle both the dog, who is growling, and Abby, who is crying. Did I mention that I NEED MY COFFEE?!?

The bleeding has stopped before I can even figure out where it came from. My best guess is that she bit her lip because she didn't actually hit the bench with the front of her face. It was more the side of her face but she kind of caught herself.

About 2 minutes later she was laughing and chasing the dog again.

About 2 minutes after that the dog stopped playing and she was crying again. Here is the face of a bad start to the day:

It's now 8:30, I have finally finished my coffee and I have taken the easy route and turned on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. It was the only way to distract Abby from the dog and give me a moment to get myself together.

It's been 3 hours and this day is shaping up to be quite interesting. With coffee running through me, I feel like I am finally prepared to face the day.

On the bright side, my stitches were removed yesterday and it looks like it's healing up nice!

Now I must go and put a game plan in action. I need one that will produce no injuries, minimal temper tantrums, and keeps the dog out of Abby's sight.... any suggestions?

This Time I REALLY Got Myself Good!

2011-02-16T12:22:00.000-05:00

Know what it feels like to get hit in the head with a metal pole? No? Well, unfortunately I now do.

It was an innocent, how did I not see it, wish I could rewind my day by 10 seconds so I could take it back, mistake. I turned to say hi to a friend, turned back around to climb up and help Abby, and SMACK! I saw stars, blood (oh, so much blood), and knew our trip to the park was about to be cut way short.

There were a couple things running through my mind right after it happened: Is Abby ok? Did she see it (no, thank god)? Did I just rip my nose off? Shoot, my new coat! Shoot, Shoot, Shoot... my jeans! Crap, I'm gonna scar! Crap, I already broken blood vessels in that spot! Crap, Crap, Crap... my nose really doesn't need anymore character than it already has! Yes, I'm slightly vain... honestly, the pain was secondary. I REALLY did not want to scare Abby or my friends daughter so I think that's why all of these other thoughts were running through my mind. I think it was my way of trying to ignore the crazy amount of pain I was in!

After a half an hour of trying to get the car seat out of one car into the other. Another 15 minutes driving home and waking up Dan to take me to the hospital. Another 15 minutes going back to get my car. And finally another 20 minutes to the hospital, I was finally in the ER... an hour and a half later. The bleeding slowed down and I do think that the girl at the front desk thought I was being dramatic. She kept saying, "Really, it's not bleeding that bad." I kept saying, "Oh, it was. It's deep. It's not bleeding that bad NOW but it was." She was equally rude when I left.

So, into the waiting room we go. Dan, who also thought I was being a bit of a drama queen, finally realized that it was pretty bad. I guess that realization was bit too much to handle because a few minutes later he looked at me and said, "I just felt my blood pressure drop. I'm psyching myself out. I feel like I'm gonna pass out."

So, here I am. I a major head ache. A gash on my nose. And now my husband is turning pasty and thinks he's going to drop. So, with as much sympathy and tact as I could muster, I tell him that it's not that bad and he needs to stop thinking about passing out. For some reason, he gets up and starts walking around the room. He was talking but all the sudden his face changes and I know what is about to happen. I jump out of bed and catch him. I yell for help while I prop him up using the wall, bed, and my own body.

Yup, I caught a 185 lb man after having lost half my blood... I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR... LOL!

So, Dan and I switch places. He gets the bed and they bring him some juice. The funny part? He's a cop in a county that has seen something ridiculous like 16 homicides since the start of the year. He sees gross stuff all the time! But my little boo boo was enough to make him lose it.... I guess he loves me!

They bring in another bed so I could get my stitches. We had our own little his and hers suite! At the end of the day, Dan was fine, I had 3 stitches, and Abby got to play with her friend and had no clue what happened. Exciting, huh?!?!

It really would have been so much worse if my friend wasn't there. I can't believe that we both kept our cool! I owe her for helping out with Abby and I can't thank her enough!

The Greatest Gift

2011-02-14T06:56:00.000-05:00

I turn on the water and wait.

Nothing happens. No pitter patter of little feet. No excited squeal.

Hmm. Strange.

I quietly peak outside the door and there she is. Paying no attention to me, doing her own thing.

My mind starts racing... could this be true? Am I really alone? If I move quick, I may be able to do this!

So, I jump in and move as quick as I possibly can. All the while anticipating what I am sure will happen.

But it never does. She never comes running in. When I'm done, I peak outside the door and there she is: paying no attention to me, doing her own thing.

I know the day will come when this is just the way things are but for now, this is rare. For now, there is no better birthday present than having privacy in the shower!

I know I promised pictures of my cake and I will definitely post them but I just haven't gotten around to uploading them yet! My sister is visiting and we've been keeping busy! Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes and I hope everyone has a great Valentines day!

Cool Abby!

2011-02-09T08:15:00.000-05:00

My silly Abby was a total goofball the other day and I was lucky enough to catch it on video. Well, that's really not too hard since she thinks that she's the funniest person ever. Seriously, we could sit here for hours and record videos in Photo Booth or playback ones that we already made. It cracks her up!

This video, is special though. She's stingy with her kisses.... REALLY STINGY. There are times that I won't get a kiss from her for a whole week and my poor husband, well, you'll see what he gets instead of kisses. She can be lovable but kisses are pretty much reserved for her babies... or pictures in her book, or her food (so pretty much anything but real people!). So, I can not tell you how excited I was to get some love from her and actually get it on video!

I hope this crazy kid makes you smile! Ignore the vacuum in the background (I would say I was cleaning but the vacuum is actually still in the same spot). Also, please ignore my hair, lack of makeup, bags under my eyes... Abby has been getting up at 5:30 and I am not a morning person at all!

As for my birthday, which is tomorrow, I am working on making my own cake as practice for Abby's birthday. I think making a fancy cake is a bit beyond my skill set in the baking department since it's shaping up to be quite the disaster! Good or bad, I will definitely share photos!

The Not So Great Birthday Present

2011-02-03T07:20:00.000-05:00

In one week I will be leaving my twenties behind to start a new decade of my life. I'm not really happy about it. Actually, it's kind of depressing especially since I spent most most of the year thinking I was 28. I guess you could call that wishful thinking.

At first, I told Dan that I did not want to celebrate my birthday so not to buy me anything. Of course that's not what I meant and thankfully he went ahead and got me something anyway.

I, of course, ruined the surprise and got my gift early! I was so excited to see that he had bought me a Wii Fit! It was something I wanted since Christmas when his parents bought us the Wii. I thought for sure this would help get me motivated to work out and help me mix up my workouts a bit. Not only was it the Wii Fit but it came with the Biggest Loser game too. I could't wait to set it up and get started and at the time I thought it was the best gift ever.

Very shortly after Abby went to bed the other night, I realized that I was SO WRONG. This was not the best birthday present ever. This was a birthday present that not only made me feel fat but also old. Not a good combination when your about to BEGRUDGINGLY say good bye to your twenties.

When you first set it up, the Fit runs you through a series of light exercises and weighs you to determine your 'age'. In my defense, I am video game challenged and I think that is why it gave me the 'age' 43!! WTF!! I tried to do it again but it was a different set of tests so I screwed those up too and it came up with the same age. This is so not what I wanted to see!

Now, let me tell you about the little Wii person. You start out as normal as a Wii person can look and once it gets your weight I guess it makes adjustments. My Wii person became a short fatty. Same thing with the Biggest Loser person, although that person looks more realistic so it's even more depressing when they change it to a fatty. Let me just say that she does not carry her weight well at all!

So, I thought it was a great gift. I was wrong. So wrong. This gift has made me feel more depressed about my birthday.

So right now my husband is reading over my shoulder and mad that I said I don't like my gift. I guess I should clarify, for his sake, that I do like it. The Biggest Loser workouts are fun and I could really see myself using them a lot. However, I didn't know that it was going to tell me that I was 43 years old and obese! Happy Birthday, your fat and old... YAY!

I think I'll spend this next year managing my weight, working out more, and living in denial! Please feel free to wish me a Happy 25th Birthday next week! Thank you!

Dear Abby: Part 2

2011-02-01T16:45:00.001-05:00

Dear Abby,

You are usually an easy baby to take care of. You love to play and act silly. You're always finding a new 'hat' to wear. You're a pretty good eater, although sometimes you get a little picky. But you are so easy at bedtime. By 7pm you are ready for bed, sometimes you grab your blanky and wait by your crib.

You make it a complete joy to be your mom and we have lots of fun everyday. However, there are times that you test my patience. Times that you will scream, cry, kick, arch your back... do just about anything to get what you want. It doesn't matter where we are or who is around.

At times like these, being your mom isn't easy. When you throw a tantrum, it takes a long time for you to get back to normal. During those HOURS it takes you to get back to your old self, you seem to want to do everything your not suppose to. Telling you 'no' only brings us right back to where we started... a full blown tantrum.

There are days, like at Port Discovery when you threw your lunch on the floor, that it is hard for me to remain calm. But, I'm your mom and that's my job. My job is to teach you how to behave and how to communicate. I LOVE MY JOB and I want you to be the best you can possibly be.

I have high hopes for and want you to feel like you can accomplish anything. I know this phase will pass and one day you'll be a teenager and then a young woman. I hope that you are successful at whatever you choose to do and one day find love and get married.

And then I hope that you have a little girl, who is just as smart, funny, and independent as you. Then you will understand that telling you you're not allowed to gnaw on the bottom of your shoe or asking you to eat lunch is not something I do because I'm mean. I do it because I love you.

Just a few months ago, I wrote you a letter and called you my angel. That hasn't changed and I can not wait for the day your very own little angel turns into Linda Blair in front of a hundred people!

Love you with or without tantrums,

Mommy

Our Trip to Port Discovery

2011-01-31T14:23:00.000-05:00

Well, so I didn't win the lottery but I did win tickets to the most AMAZING place the other day! Port Discovery is a children's museum in Baltimore that I have been dying to take Abby to for some time. I was first introduced to them while reading (Cool) Progeny who has the scoop on all the fun kids stuff around the Baltimore area so when I saw she was giving away a family pack of tickets I had to enter... AND I WON! Thank you (Cool) Progeny!!!

This place is one of the coolest places I have ever seen. There is so much to do and the price is super reasonable. Just about every exhibit on this 3 level museum is appealing to everyone from toddlers to big kids (like me)! Right in the middle of museum is a 3 level urban treehouse that is filled with twists, turns, and all sorts of climbing fun. Abby was a little young to climb the whole thing but she loved the rope bridge on the third floor. Just look at how high up it is! It was a pretty long bridge and she made it over and back without any fear! I was amazed!

As much as she loved climbing, I think her favorite part was Wonders of Water. There were fountains, a stream table and so much more water fun! They warn that kids will get wet on their website but I had no idea what we were in for! Abby got soaked and I was so happy I brought a change of clothes for her.

We were lucky enough to go on the day that they were celebrating the Chinese New Year and the music and lion dance were absolutely awesome! (As were the food samples from P.F. Changs... yum!)

There was so much more there... a mini diner, a convenient store for kids to shop in, a mystery house... way too much to put into one post. Abby ran around like a luny bird from exhibit to exhibit. There was no stopping her or even slowing her down. Within five minutes of the car ride home, this is what my luny bird looked like.

I would highly recommend it to anyone with little ones living near Baltimore. Thank you again to (Cool) Progeny!!

My Lucky Day

2011-01-25T19:37:00.000-05:00

Check out these boots... aren't they just too cute?

I absolutely love them and since I have been feeling a bit frumpy lately, I bought them right before New Years Eve. I think I've worn them about 4 times. I love them but sometimes they're not practical... plus, they don't go with the sweat pants I tend to run out of the house in.

Well, the other day we all went shopping and I decided to wear them. I also had a lucky feeling that I was going to win the lottery and wanted to stop and check my ticket to see if I was the worlds newest millionaire. I bought the ticket the other day finally after 3 attempts. I had no idea that some convenient stores don't sell lottery tickets.

The entire day was incident free and on the way home we pulled up to the convenient store. I had what was sure to be the winning ticket in my hand. I was confident, excited, so sure of myself but when I opened the car door and started standing up there was something wrong.

It all happened really fast and I couldn't react. It felt like my body was possessed. It was moving on it's own. I was falling but not falling. I was almost falling and walking at the same time. I COULD NOT stop my legs from moving. As I was falling and walking (about a mile according to Dan) I saw the curb.

I knew this wasn't going to pretty. It already wasn't pretty. I tried to stop myself with my hands but my feet kept going. I finally stopped when I tripped up the curb. I landed in a pile of dirt that was only there to make my fall more mortifying.

EMBARRASSING! My husband, who claims to have been very concerned for my safety, did not get out of the car until I was sitting on the side walk laughing. He swears that it kept looking like I had it but then I would start falling again so he wasn't sure he should get out. I think he was too busy laughing and wanted to make sure he had his smirk hidden until he knew if I was hurt.

Let's face it, I would have laughed if it was him. It was too funny although also slightly painful.

Judging by the hole in my jeans, my heel must have got caught on them somehow. I wasn't too concerned because I had a winning lottery ticket!

So, I started the day feeling so good. Rocking my boots. Holding my winning lottery ticket. Let's just say, the day didn't go quite as planned.

On the plus side, the fall didn't break my heel! Hmm, maybe tomorrow is my lucky day?

Sweet Sunday! Root Beer Float Cupcakes!

2011-01-23T20:22:00.000-05:00

I have been craving something sweet for days and while I was cleaning my pantry I realized that I had this icing decorator thingy from Pampered Chef that was still in it's box. I had bought it a while ago hoping it would make my cupcakes look FABULOUS! So, I decided that I'd try it out today since it's Sunday and calories don't count on Sunday.

Since I was using my fancy schmancy icing decorator, I figured I'd better make something equally as fancy. I decided to poke around on my cousin's blog for some ideas and came across Root Beer cupcakes. I figured it had to be delicious because all of her stuff always looks so good. Seriously, whenever I see a new picture on Facebook my mouth starts to water. All of her creations look amazing! And judging by these cupcakes, I'm sure they taste amazing too.

The icing does taste exactly like a root beer float! The cake part has cocoa in it which I wasn't sure about at first but it worked really well together. I have to admit, this was a little more work then I'm used to since my cupcakes usually come out of a box but it was well worth the effort! My frosting does not look quite as FABULOUS as I hoped... I guess my Pampered Chef thingy isn't magical after all... but it passed the taste test conducted by Abby and Dan so it's definitely a winner!

Oh, notice those cute cupcake liners? Those are silicone ones and I LOVE them! For some reason, my cupcakes always stick to paper or foil liners so these worked out perfect!

There are milestones...

2011-01-21T21:04:00.000-05:00

And then there are MILESTONES! I'm not talking about the normal ones we all look forward to like taking their first steps or saying their first word.

I'm talking about the ones we all dread. The ones we know will be here sooner rather than later. The ones that make you want to go from loving, kissing, cuddling your child to wanting run as far away as possible, lock yourself in a closet, and deny that child is yours.

You might have guessed it... we have hit the temper tantrum MILESTONE. Well, we hit that stage a while ago but it is beginning to reach a new level. A temper tantrum, as long as it's not in public, is something that I've learned to tune out. Now, Abby has begun to scream these high pitched yelps. Over and over and over again.

THESE YELPS GO RIGHT THROUGH ME!

But that's not the only MILESTONE Abby has reached recently. Aside from the ones that make me think she's a little more boy than girl (laughing at her farts and picking her nose), she attempted to climb out of her bed today. And by attempted, I mean fell.

When I say my heart stopped when I heard the crash, followed by crying, followed by silence... I'm not exaggerating. I can not begin to tell you how relieved I was to see that she stopped crying because she was trying to get up but was twisted in her blanket. Not even a bruise. Man, do I wish I had a video monitor to see how that fall went down!

My relief was short-lived. It was followed by panic... is it toddler bed time? I don't think she's ready for that. Although her fall wouldn't be so far from a toddler, I don't think she would ever actually fall asleep. So, I GOOGLED my problem and learned that they actually make tents to go over the top of cribs to prevent this from happening.

Um, is it just me or does this not look right? The netting actually covers the entire crib, rails and all. It's like sticking your kid in a bubble only safer! I don't want to judge because desperate times call for desperate measures but this thing does look kind of wacky. So, I need to know, has anyone tried one of these? When did you transition your little one to a toddler bed?

Someone Pass Me a Tranquilizer!

2011-01-18T21:49:00.000-05:00

As I sit here, on my new couch that I LOVE, I've come to a conclusion: I am a neurotic mess! Why? Because I am actually afraid of my couch.

Well, actually I'm afraid of what may (but probably isn't) be living in my couch. You see, about a week ago we discovered that we had an unwelcome pet that was living in our home. He ate our hot dog rolls and investigated our entire kitchen and pantry. I know there are people who find mice cute but I'm not one of those people. I especially don't find them cute enough to share my food with.

I was totally freaked. Especially since I ate an english muffin out of the same drawer the hot dog rolls were in. YUCK! I felt sick and was definitely having a panic attack. Abby on the other hand, found me hysterical! Every time Dan said another spot he saw evidence of our intruder, I would panic and say "oh my God." Abby thought this was the funniest thing she ever heard!

So, after a little bit of persuasion (arguing), my husband agreed to hire an exterminator. I know it sounds crazy, but mice carry disease! And, I'm here alone a lot of the time so we needed to take care of this ASAP! This may sound even crazier, but I was actually thinking that the exterminator would hunt down the mouse and remove it. Hah! Silly me! I paid a ridiculous amount of money for him to put baits and sticky things around. The removal of the mouse was our job! GREAT!

So, we caught the mouse that night and the husband did what husbands do and I didn't have to see the poor mouse suffer (see, I do have a heart!). There has been no other evidence of any more mice which is great news! However, we had to sign a year contract with the exterminator so this would probably qualify the most expensive mouse assassination ever.

Ok, so I bet you're wondering why I'm afraid of my couch. Well, I mentioned my mouse problem to my best friend a little while ago and she told me a story about a family member who had a mouse family living in their couch but they had no idea. FANTASTIC! Now, I'm itchy. I'm hearing squeaky noises. I swear I see movement out of the corner of my eye.

So, why don't I just go into another room? Because last night my husband made me watch Friday the 13th and I'm scared shitless that Freddy Kruger is outside my window! I told you I'm a neurotic mess!

Where's the Beef?

2011-01-12T08:29:00.001-05:00

Clearly, this cheeseburger is a victim of the recession!

How Do You Say "Thank You"?

2011-01-08T08:43:00.000-05:00

Let me start by being totally honest: I'm not very good at sending out thank you cards (or anything that requires a stamp). My wedding thank you cards were way late (by about a year). My thought on thank you cards is that if you say "Thank you" in person or over the phone then you shouldn't have to send a card unless you feel you want to.

That said, I am shocked by the number of gifts I gave over the holiday season that I did not receive a thank you for. Since we live so far from family, most of these gifts were not given in person so I would have expected a phone call, text, or even a Facebook message letting me know they got the gift and appreciated it. Like I said, I'm not picky and could care less about how you say thank you as long as you do. Most gifts I gave weren't extravagant but the point is that I thought of them, right? I didn't even get a thank you for some of the checks that were given although I know they got them because they were cashed.

Again, I'm not a stickler for etiquette but "Thank You" should be something that comes as second nature. Maybe I'm just a little sour because I gave a gift to a kid who shall remain nameless and did not receive a thank you. Instead, this kid asked me what else I got them. For the record, this is not the first time that this child did not receive a gift graciously. I'm not judging the child, nor the parent, and hope this is just a stage that this kid is going through but regardless it was very surprising to witness.

So, I now understand why some people got so mad when my Thank You cards were sent out so late. It's nice to know a gift you give is appreciated. I don't give a gift to hear a thank you but it is nice to know that the person received the gift when I wasn't able to give it in person. And, after witnessing what it feels like to be on the receiving end of an ungrateful kid, I know how important it is to teach Abby to appreciate what others do for her. So, we started that lesson as soon as we got home by writing Thank You cards to everyone who thought of us during the holidays. She even signed them in her own special way! My hope is that by starting early, saying thank you will become natural to her.

So, what is everyone else's take on Thank You cards? How do you let others know their gift was appreciated? How do you teach your children to show gratitude?

I Think I Watched 100 Episodes of Caillou

2011-01-06T20:04:00.000-05:00

While Abby was feeling sick on the couch. She had a little fever and slept more hours than she was up today. When she was up, the only thing that kept her happy was watching Caillou. So, once we ran out of episodes on the tv, I had to check and see what I could find on YouTube. Thank God for YouTube because she looked like this for most of the afternoon.

Well, until she realized I was taking her picture. As soon as she noticed the camera she sat up yelling "Cheese!"

Look at my devil dog watching too! I have to say that he is getting much better with her. A few weeks ago he would never have gotten this close!

I can not begin to tell you how happy it made me to see a glimpse of my happy little lady! Now, if only I could get her look at the camera smiling like this when I want to take her picture. I swear, she always does the opposite of what I want her to do! I can only imagine what the teenage years will be like!

Happy (Almost) New Year!

2010-12-30T18:55:00.000-05:00

With New Years Eve tomorrow night, I've been thinking a lot about my Mom. New Years Eve is her birthday and we always spent it with her. As a teenager, I was a little annoyed that I was never able to go to the cool parties with everyone (well, except for once... I had fun... too much fun because I got grounded afterwards). As an adult, there was no where else I would rather be and I wish I could go back to the days when I was a kid.

Tradition is an important thing in our family. Now that my Mom is gone we are still trying to find our new groove for the holidays but as a kid we knew where we would be. As a little kid, we would all go over to my Grandmother's house (my Mom's mom) and have a huge party for New Years. At midnight we would all be ready with pots and pans. As the ball dropped, we would run up and down the street making an insane amount of noise and shouting "Happy New Year!" As kids, we knew we were only allowed to a certain drive way before we had to turn around.

Things were simple. We just knew where we were supposed to be and what we were supposed to do. After my Grandmother passed away we continued the tradition of banging pots and pans but slowly the tradition faded. The parties got smaller as cousins married and started their own traditions. Even my sibling and I have branched out to do different things.

As is tradition with everyone holiday, I will be spending it with family which is the one thing that remains constant. The people might be different from year to year, but being surrounded by loved ones stays the same. Those who can get together do and those who can't are missed. I know that as the night goes on, I'll be thinking of my Mom and remembering all the childhood memories with a smile.

And who knows... if Abby actually makes it to midnight I may let her bang on some pots and pans to show her how to ring in the New Year right!

I wish all of you a Happy New Year! Filled with health, wealth, and happiness!

My Hiatus is Over!

2010-12-29T09:18:00.000-05:00

Wow... this has been one long hiatus! Not just from blogging but being on the internet in general. Aside from a couple quick times I snuck in here and there. I have to admit, as much as I missed blogging, I have had a great hiatus filled with family and fun.

Abby's first Christmas present from Nonno... a few days early!

My brother, Joe, and sisters, Resa and Katey, relaxing on our new couch!

Abby helped herself to a candy cane while we were baking cookies.

Her first look at what Santa left behind!

She loves her enormous tunnel/ball pit! Thank goodness we have a large basement!

Today is actually the first day that Abby and I will be in our new home by ourselves. All of the family is gone and Dan is back to work. It feels....... quiet. It's been a long few weeks so I know it's time to get back to normal. Well, for a few days until we start out on our New Years adventure!

I hope all you had a great holiday!

TV or No TV?

2010-12-22T07:29:00.000-05:00

This post is days in the making. Every time I try to sit down and write, something or someone gets in my way. We have been so busy unpacking, decorating for Christmas, and my Dad and brother arrived on Monday to stay the week to help get some things done and celebrate Christmas. To say it's been busy is an understatement.

But, that's not the real reason I haven't been online. No matter how busy I am, I can usually squeeze in moments here and there. The real reason is that apparently the cable company doesn't supply their customers with a wireless router unless they get a special request. So, I have to connect with an ethernet cable which is in the family room in the basement. The ethernet cable is short so I literally am using the subwoofer for the TV as my desk.

Did I also mention that this is where the main TV is? The only other TV we have right now is in my bedroom, which I rarely go into during the day.

So, basically I have hardly been online and hardly watched TV since Thursday and ya know... I have to say that it's been kind of nice. It's nice to listen to music and see Abby run around and play without being distracted by one of her shows. It feels like we've gone back to basics and it's refreshing.

On the other hand, the internet is something I miss. I miss drinking my coffee and checking my email. I miss not being able to move my computer to whatever room I'm in. So, on the list today is a wireless router. It's a necessity.

Another TV, however, is on the bottom of the list. We have a living room upstairs so there is definitely room for it but I'm not too anxious to put one in there. Dan thinks I'm crazy and is planning on getting one after Christmas. My brother agrees with Dan and said that it's not the 1950's anymore. He thinks it's strange to have a living room without a TV.

So, what do you guys think? How many TVs do you have and are they on all day like in my house?

We're on the Move!

2010-12-14T07:10:00.000-05:00

Sorry I've been MIA lately. I have a good excuse. Really, I do!

We closed on our new home this past Friday! Since then, I have been busy getting it ready so we can move. We won't officially be in our new place until this coming Friday but it feels good to be there getting everything ready.

I've been cleaning, unpacking boxes, and most of all.... I've been shopping! All the little stuff (and big stuff) adds up so fast. Between the new house and Christmas, I've never spent so much money and it feels SO GOOD!

Abby is starting to get used to her new home too. Some days she handles being there really well, some days are not so smooth. I think it's hard for her because there's no furniture yet so it doesn't feel quite like home. But, she's finding ways to keep herself entertained.

Things should start settling down after Christmas and hopefully I'll be able to post some updates here and keep up with all of you.

Dealing With You is Excruciating: Writer's Workshop

2010-12-09T06:53:00.001-05:00

I'm linking up for this weeks writing challenge over at Mama Kat's. Here's a letter to just about any company I ever give my money to....

Dear (insert company here),

Although your company policy states that your goal is to provide 'exceptional customer service' I think you forgot what exceptional customer service is. See, I give you my money and you give me a product while acting like you appreciate the fact that I chose you.

Now, I'm not expecting you to roll out the red carpet just because I decide to go with your bundle package. I realize that I am one in a million and I am not even a blip on your radar when you analyze your bottom line but do I not count for something? I don't even require 'exceptional', I'm pretty easy. Here are just a few things that would make me 'exceptionally happy'.

Since I am the customer, can I please at least have things delivered on the correct date to the correct home? (Yes, I'm talking to you, furniture STORES. That's right, I am dealing with 2 furniture stores who are driving me crazy!).

Since I am the customer, can I have a phone call returned in a timely manner? As in, within a few days? So that I do not have to call back and explain my entire story all over again to someone else who doesn't care? (This ones for just the one store who is holding my table hostage on a boat from China).

Speaking of a timely manner, do you think that I can receive a bill in a timely manner? Not over a year after I visit your office. I made payments after each visit but now you say I owe more, over a year later. I'm so confused as to why but I guess I have to pay since it's my credit that will be damaged if I don't. Do I get to take over a year to pay you? (Yup, this one is for you Dr. Dentist!).

Really, I don't want to be angry. I don't want to have to yell and threaten to cancel my order/service/complain. But when I try to be nice about things, you take advantage of me and try to pacify me with an "I'm sorry for your inconvenience." Well, I'm sorry for it too!

I think you should change your company's goal to 'provide exceptionally excruciating customer service'. Problem solved, goal met.

Sincerely,

Inconvenienced, As Always

"The days of our lives, for all of us, are numbered." Elizabeth Edwards

2010-12-07T21:06:00.000-05:00

I'm sorry, this post might come off as a little depressing for the holiday season. I just found out that Elizabeth Edwards passed away this morning. I have to say it hit pretty close to home. Both her and my mom fought breast cancer for 6 long years.

Elizabeth Edwards left behind 3 kids, her oldest is about the same age as me so I feel like I have pretty good idea what she's feeling right now. She was pretty open about her diagnosis so I'm sure in some ways she tried to prepare them for this but truthfully there is no such thing. Losing your mom at such a young age is hard.

My sister asked me recently if anything will ever feel like a happy occasion again. For us, there's always something... someone... missing. I'm sure with time it will ache less but I'm sure we'll always feel that way. A few days before my mom passed away, she cried over how much she was going to miss out on. I tried to reassure her that she'll have the best seat in the house, but I know at the time that it was only words. Until she said it, I never thought of it. I'm choked up right now thinking of the big things that she'll miss... engagements, weddings, grandkids. All I pray is that on each of my sister's wedding days, I say the right thing because Lord knows... it's going to be a little tougher for the girls.

Which is why my heart goes out to her children, especially the younger 2.

I thought I would share a poem my dad found and sent to me. Reading it reminded me that no matter what happens, there are two ways to look at things.

You can shed tears that she is gone,

or you can smile because she has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,

or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,

or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,

or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember her only that she is gone,

or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind,

be empty and turn your back.

Or you can do what she'd want:

smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

~David Harkins~

Oops... I broke the Budget!

2010-12-06T08:47:00.000-05:00

I mentioned the other day that I prefer shopping in stores as opposed to online but last night sealed the deal. I can't be trusted to shop online. I sat down last night to shop for Dan and I got so caught up in being able to shop multiple places and compare prices that I got confused.

And overwhelmed.

And a little click happy.

At one point, I had 3 stores open with stuff in each cart. I then forgot about one whole order and almost ordered the same thing from another store.

Then, Toys R Us decided to take something out of my cart due to low inventory and by the time I realized the item was no longer available. I'm still trying to figure out how they can do this. If I had something in my cart at the store they wouldn't be able to take it back because I was shopping too long. I feel like I was robbed. It's kind of like some crazy mom stealing from your cart when you turn around to look at something... not cool!

At the end of night, I tallied up my purchases and thought 'oh, sh**'. Out of the 4 things on Dan's list, I purchased 2. I also purchased 8 things not on his list that at the time seemed like small things but added up to way over budget. Um, what in the world was I doing?

I've decided that I am way too unorganized to shop online. I need to see the items I purchased and feel them in my hands in order for my brain to know it's time to stop spending. I need a destination, with a list, and fewer options than what is available online.

At least Dan will be happy on Christmas. Of course he wasn't mad... it meant more presents for him! Although, it does make his shopping harder because right now my list consists of a pair of comfy pants from Old Navy and a mascara... he's got a lot of catching up to do!

Hmm, maybe I should continue shopping so he feels obligated to put some diamonds or a Coach bag under the tree? I'll have to remember that idea next year!

What to do first???

2010-12-04T20:02:00.000-05:00

We are 6 days away from closing on our home! YAY! Well, that is if they finish fixing the septic and the county inspects it by then. But, assuming everything happens as planned... we will be homeowners this Friday!!

I'm getting a tad bit nervous though. We are not packed as much as I want to be. It's hard to figure out what I can pack now and what I might need. To top it off, I came down with the most horrendous cold/flu sore throat/head ache/body ache thing. I am not one to get sick very often and I am amazed that I somehow caught something that my husband was able to fight off. Needless to say, I spent about 6 hours awake yesterday and the rest of the day passed out. Thank God for my Hubs who took care of Abby for me... even after I cussed him out because I couldn't find my phone charger. What can I say, I'm sick and can not be held responsible for my choice of words!

The other serious stressor right now... Christmas. I have way too much to do and no time to do it in. I love shopping in stores for the holidays. The decorations and music just bring out the holiday spirit in me. This year, I think I'm going to do a majority of the shopping on line and if so, I need to get a move on (as Dan reminds every day).

Ok... now that I got all that off my chest, it doesn't seem too bad. I guess being sick just made things overwhelming. Ok, off to take care of the most important stuff... shopping!!!

Happy Turkey Days!?!

2010-11-30T22:37:00.000-05:00

I hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving! We certainly did! We were able to visit with family members in three different states and enjoyed 3 big meals! Good thing family meals are calorie free in my book!

This was the 2nd Thanksgiving without my Mom. She was missed but I was glad that I got through the day remembering her but not grieving. It was strange but I didn't get overly emotional until my ride home on Monday night after visiting my Dad. It suddenly hit me that I had spent time with my Dad, my aunt (who's like a second mom to me), and my in laws... all the parent figures. It's kind of a hard feeling to express. It's a thought that caught me off guard and hit me like a ton of bricks. Sometimes life is just depressing.

On a positive note, Abby had a blast visiting everyone. We even got a chance to take her to this awesome place, Edaville Railroad. She got a chance to ride on a 'choo choo' and to meet Santa (which didn't go as well as I hoped). She even ate her first lollipop, which was too stinkin' cute! After the first taste, she paused and looked at me before letting out a great big 'MMMMM'.

100th Post!

2010-11-19T21:22:00.000-05:00

Wow. I can't believe this is my 100th post. It seems like something I should celebrate! This little blog is really starting to grow and I have met some amazing people. So many of you have had such kind words to say when I was down and made me feel not so alone when things get crazy. Thank you!

I was thinking about what to write about for my 100th post and for a few days I couldn't think of anything that seemed special enough to dedicate this post to. Until last night on my way home from the grocery store. I was listening to the radio and the song "Highway 20 ride" by the Zac Brown Band was on. I've heard this song a million times but for some reason, these lyrics really got me:

A day might come you'll realize
That if you see through my eyes
There was no other way to work it out
And a part of you might hate me
But son, please don’t mistake me
For a man that didn’t care at all

See, my Dad was that guy. Except it was every other weekend that he would drive 2 hours from New Jersey to Pennsylvania to pick us up for a weekend. He would get there Friday night or Saturday morning and drive us back on Sunday night. That's 8 hours of driving just to get up for work Monday morning.

I know that if I go on too much, he'll be totally embarrassed so let me just say that he's gone above and beyond what is expected of any father. He was there for all of us regardless of how we behaved or what we said. He pushed me to go to school, was my rock throughout my mom's illness, and was still there whenever I made bad decisions. Now that I'm a parent I dread the day that Abby puts me through what I put my parents through.

If there was one thing that I could say my Dad has taught all of us, and continues to teach us over the years, it's food. Without him none of us would be the food connoisseurs we are today. Seriously, people are shocked the first time they have Sunday dinner with us. Well, shocked first and then usually sick from over eating. It takes a true connoisseur to know the proper way to navigate a Chinese Buffet. Or how to order a White Castle cheeseburger... aka murder burgers. Or that when eating at Rutt's Hut (a must if you're ever in Jersey!) always stand at the counter because the food just doesn't taste the same if you sit in the restaurant. He's my go to guy for recipes, which I then make for family and pass off as my own. He's also one hell of a baker! These are priceless lessons from a one of kind Dad!

Here we are on my wedding day. Feel free to leave a comment about how much he looks like Al Pacino! It'll really make his day!

Sorry Dad if I embarrassed you but I thought for my 100th post I should honor someone who helped make me who I am today! Thank you!

"What Not to Wear"

2010-11-15T20:59:00.000-05:00

Image by Getty Images via @daylife

Did you ever see that show, "What not to Wear?" Or read the back page of Cosmo where they show pictures of fashion don'ts? Well, there are days that I resemble the people they feature way too much.

Today, I actually went out to the grocery store in stretch pants. Some may call them yoga pants but to me... STRETCH PANTS! Pre-motherhood, I would have never been caught dead leaving the house like that. I can see my picture now with that dreaded black bar over my eyes to protect my identity from my shameful decision.

Oh, I also had no makeup on and crazy hair. Thankfully, it was clean hair.... just half curly, half straight, clean crazy hair.

Makes me wonder... where have I gone? Yes, there are so many blessings that come with motherhood. Yes, I am eternally grateful that my husband is able to pick up enough overtime so that I can stay home.

But, I think I'm in a rut. With only one car, there are days that I don't leave the house. Having nowhere to go, no time to be there, and no one to see is making it difficult for me to see the point in dealing with the hassle of getting a shower before 8pm. With no shower comes no picking out outfits, doing of hair, or putting on makeup. Leaving me feeling like I wasted a day.

The problem is that this is not a good routine for me. I need to get ready for my day. I need to feel like 'me'. And I need to not be in a room full of mirrors with Stacy and Clinton telling me how many 'fashion no-no's' I'm currently wearing.

So, I've been bribing Abby to work with me on this. I've been working out daily for the past couple of weeks. At first, I only worked out when Abby was sleeping but I seemed to loose my motivation by the time she took a nap. So, now I give her the portable DVD player, throw in a kid movie, and magic happens! To think, there was a time when I swore that Abby wouldn't watch TV!

She's glued to the screen. She carries her movie around with her if wants to sit somewhere else. The most awesome part... she doesn't try to stand behind my butt when I do a squat!

I even figured out how to get a shower afterwards by taking her in with me! When I'm done, I let her stay in and play while I get ready in the bathroom. I have to admit, I miss my privacy but this has so many advantages. It gives me time to put face cream on. Put lotion on my legs. Put mouse in my hair. It's wonderful!

If I do all of this before nap time then I even get time to catch up the things that I can't do when she's awake. Fun things, like putting my clothes away in the bedroom or cleaning the bathroom or maybe even unloading the dishwasher!

I think I've finally figured out how to be 'me' and a mom. That is, until she gets bored with the dvd player and goes through another phase where she doesn't like baths or showers (which happens out of nowhere and lasts for weeks). Or perhaps she'll decide that she doesn't like taking afternoon naps anymore and our whole day will be turned around. You ever notice that once you have things figured out, they change?

So, I'm curious, how do other mommas do it? Anyone have a clever tip they can share?

"What you've never had, you never miss."

2010-11-12T08:26:00.000-05:00

Recently, stories about lottery winners have been catching my attention. The most recent was the person who won $128,000 after purchasing a ticket at an 'adult' store in Michigan. Michigan law states that lottery winners can not remain anonymous so this person's dirty little secret will be exposed once they claim their ticket! To date, I don't believe they've come forward. Since my days are typically filled with episodes of Caillou and The Wiggles, I could be wrong about that since I'm typically behind on the news.

The other story I heard was nothing short of amazing. A Canadian couple won $11.3 million and gave $11 million away. They helped out friends and family first before moving onto numerous charities. The 78 year old wife, Violet, stated, "What you've never had, you never miss." I love that!

We live in a world where more is better. People are buying huge houses, designer clothes, bigger and better cars. Here is a couple who is unfazed by extras. They are happy with what they have, each other. It's easy to focus what we don't have but this couple reminded me that most of us have more than what we need.

If by some miracle (since I never buy lottery tickets) I won, I would probably not be quite as generous. I would definitely help out my family and give to charity but I would keep a little for myself as a cushion. Being young and a parent, I sometimes worry about unemployment or illness... those things you can't control but leave you without a paycheck. I would definitely want to make sure I had savings to tap into.

What would you do? Would you give it all away, keep it, or be somewhere in the middle?

Chaos, Craziness, and Laughs

2010-11-06T08:19:00.000-04:00

The reality is setting in. We are about to buy a house. Right before Christmas.

THIS WILL BE CHAOS!

We have trips planned around Thanksgiving. There is holiday shopping to be done. Packing and unpacking. Cleaning. Wrapping presents. Meal planning.

Two years ago this wouldn't have phased me but now I have Abby. Or, as I sometimes like to call her, Hurricane Abby.

On top of all the chaos, we only have one car. About a month (or two) back a drunk driver hit Dan's truck and totaled it. We didn't replace it because we were looking for a house.

So, it's hectic here and some days we're trapped inside. The craziness is wearing off on Abby, who for some reason now calls me 'Bob' or 'Bobby'. She refuses to say 'Mommy' and laughs every time I correct which leads me to believe that for some reason I remind her of a 'Bob'. See, I knew some day I would be paid back for calling my mom 'Vagina' instead of 'Virginia'. I'm sure she's laughing right now!

In addition to renaming me, Abby has been making the most of her days by acting like a loony bird.

She has even debuted a new facial expression which my sister informed me is a face that I make.

Great look, huh? I really hope that's not a face I make often! I also wish someone would have told me sooner so I could make a conscious effort to never make that face in public!

The Dog Did It

2010-11-02T07:53:00.000-04:00

Did I ever tell you that my dog is a monster? Almost everyday, I fantasize about him running away or finding someone that just loves him and can't wait to take him off my hands.

I mean, I do love him. I picked him (as my husband kindly reminds me every time I say he's a beast). But he just drives me crazy on a daily basis. He barks at everything from school buses to people when we're on walks, he's a nervous tinkler, and he sometimes has an issue with going to the potty in the house.

Sounds great, right? Well, let me tell you how not so great it is. Since we're buying a house and closing is a couple weeks before Christmas, we decided to start the packing early. So, I'm in the process of decluttering, cleaning, and packing which means that most of the normal everyday stuff is pushed aside some days. The other day, my apartment looked like a bomb went off. You literally had to step over a mess of stuff to come in the door.

The plan was to get a bunch of it done during Abby's nap but about an hour into her nap there was a knock on the door followed by barking from my beast. I went to the door and it was a termite inspector from the HOA. I completely forgot they were coming to check out the apartments and was beyond mortified. I let him in and explained how I was packing and have a baby and it doesn't normally look like this and how "oh my god, I am so embarrassed!!". He was laughing and said not to worry so I put the dog in my bedroom while the guy checked everything.

Then, he needed to get into my room... where the dog was. I opened the door and did a quick scan around the room to make sure there wasn't anything too embarrassing laying around. I picked JR up, let the guy in, and as I'm walking down the hallway I hear something go 'ploop'. I pause for a second in disbelief and think, "oh no, he didn't". Then I turn and look, "oh yes, he did".

I quickly run to put the dog on the porch and clean up his mess before this guy steps in it. I am successful and as he leaves I'm grateful that he come across the gift my dog left.

Hours... HOURS... later, I go into my room and on the side of the bed that I can't see from the door, there is a lovely present from my dog. I am livid! I am embarrassed! I am ready to give him away!

I go out to the living and tell my husband what 'HIS' dog did and he cleans it up. I tell my husband about the termite inspector and he says, "Don't worry, I'm sure the guy knew the dog did it."

I stare at him blankly for a second. Are you saying that there's a chance the guy could have thought I did it?!?

I love animals. I really do. In reality, I know it would be hard to give him away because he's like family to me. That being said... anyone interested in adopting a dog?

Trick or Treat!

2010-11-01T08:14:00.001-04:00

I hope everyone had a great Halloween! We certainly did. It was Abby's first time trick or treating and we tagged along with some good friends of ours who have a daughter Abby's age. Watching the two girls figure out what was going on was more fun than I thought! It was adorable.

When we first started, Abby took off running like a maniac down the street. She didn't want to carry her bucket to the first few houses and at some houses she didn't even get candy. But her AHA moment arrived when we were at this guy's house. I think it might have been the moment both girls realized that all these people were giving them stuff. Abby's never had candy so I'm guessing to her it seemed like she was getting treasures! She dug through his bucket for a while and finally realized it all looked good so she tried to take the whole thing! Too cute!

After that, she wouldn't let go of her bucket! She would take breaks to rest but was very protective of her bucket. She even held it on her lap the whole car ride home. Well, until I realized that she bit open a Twix (her first candy bar!). I took the bucket only to find out later that she had hid some in her car seat. No wonder she was ok with me taking the bucket away!

Happy Halloween!

2010-10-31T12:32:00.002-04:00

Happy Halloween!

Halloween is Dan's favorite holiday. He loves scary movies, spooky decorations, and creepy costumes. We live in a tiny apartment so it's hard to go all out with decorating but we've definitely been in the Halloween spirit all week.

Earlier this week, we did some pumpkin painting (and paint eating). Lots of mess and lots of fun!

Dan made his costume, although he may not get to wear it. All that hard work may have been for nothing since the mask terrifies Abby.

Rorschach from the movie (or comic book) Watchmen

Tonight we'll be trick or treating with a good friend of mine and her daughter so I decided to bring over some cupcakes. Just in case the kids didn't get enough sugary treats! How cute are these spider web cupcakes? Since I ran out of orange gel, I decided to make some green frosted ones too.

I hope everyone has a happy and safe Halloween!

My Oh My, How Things Have Changed

2010-10-29T09:09:00.001-04:00

Before Abby, I would get excited to find a new mascara or moisturizer. I was a cosmetics junky which actually worked out well because I worked for a cosmetic company. I would try out all sorts of new products from different companies and rave about my favorites to everyone that would listen. It was my favorite job and if the hours weren't so terrible I would definitely go back.

Now that I'm a mom things are different. Cosmetics still excite me but I can go days without putting makeup on. This was unheard of a few years ago. There are different things on my must have list now. WAY DIFFERENT.

Just yesterday I was at Target. Abby has her biweekly snotty nose and I was thrilled to see that they carried my 'snotty nose must have'! A woman saw me grab them and asked how they worked. I found myself talking about this product with the same excitement that I used to reserve for the newest anti aging moisturizer.

What is this amazing product that has taken the place of makeup and skin creams?

Boogie Wipes!

They are awesome! They are moist with saline and get those pesky, crusty boogies off way easier than a normal tissue. It is a must have in our home since Abby would much rather pick her nose than have it wiped (is she a little lady or what?).

I use the fresh scent but I noticed that they also come in grape. That seems kind of strange to me but to each his own. Maybe some people like to have grape scented boogies.

Boogie Wipes are a far cry from the things that I used to need... but they work and they make life easier. Man, do things change when kids show up!

I have not been compensated for this post but if the makers of Boogie Wipes are reading you can feel free to mail me compensation in the form of a lifetime supply. They would not go unappreciated!

For the record, the plug in Zemanta did not pick up the image of Boogie Wipes while analyzing the texts of this post. I started using this plug in a few weeks ago during the Back to School, Back to Blogging challenge and so far it hasn't been all that useful. Even though I used the term "Boogie Wipes" a total of 4 times so far there is not one picture of them in my side bar.

Instead I have picture like this:

Cover via Amazon

Image via Wikipedia

Hmm... I have no clue what is on that woman's face or what the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have to do with this post. Maybe me and Zemanta aren't a good fit.

To Have and To Hold... Our 3rd Anniversary!

2010-10-26T14:28:00.000-04:00

Publish Post

Tomorrow is our 3 year anniversary! I can't help but think about how much has changed in the past three years, some for the better and some for the not to so better.

The one thing that hasn't changed is how much I love my husband. True, there have been moments when I'm left wondering who is this person? We've been through a lot in these three short years and at times it has been tough. Some things, like my mom passing away, are things that you typically don't deal with so young so it's been a learning experience for both of us. The important thing is that neither of us ever give up.

Our wedding day was nothing short of amazing! The day started with pouring rain (thanks dad for hunting down umbrellas!) and my husband getting lost because I gave him the wrong address for the car rental. OOPS!

Right before I walked into church, the rain stopped and the sun beamed in. My mom said it was my grandmother letting me know she was there... I'm choked up just thinking about it.

The ceremony was beautiful but not without its unique moments. I have a tendency to laugh when I'm uncomfortable and my 2 sisters have the same habit. With all those eyes on me, it was hard to control my urge to laugh... especially when I could here the snorts from my sisters behind me. I was doing pretty good until the priest called my husband Don instead Dan. It was a quick slip up during my vows but I lost it! It took me a little to regain my composure enough to speak!

As we were working at containing our laughter (and snorts), one of my bridesmaids that was pregnant was trying not to pass out. My godmother, who has a history of passing out at weddings, noticed this and thought the best option was to come up to the altar and take my bridesmaid outside. Since I didn't know someone was about to pass out, I thought she was coming up to yell at my sisters for laughing! Or worse, yell at me! Let's just say I looked like a deer caught in headlights as I watched her stomp up to the altar!

The reception and after party were a blast! It was a mixture of Red Sox and Yankees fans so there was the playful taunting... the Massachusetts crowd sang out loud to "Sweet Caroline" and the us Yankees fans did a chorus line to "New York, New York". My grandmother and her twin sister even got in on the kicking! The after party was complete with game 3 of the World Series and lots of crazy fun!

Dan and I had decided a while ago to purchase tickets to see the Patriots as our anniversary gift to one another (next year is my pick!) so we weren't planning on doing too much tomorrow. However, we just received the best anniversary present ever... WE BOUGHT A HOUSE! The contract came back today (after 3 LONG DAYS), signed by the seller and we couldn't be happier. It's not the house I mention last week. That contract fell through which turned out to be a good thing! We love the home we found. There's no work to be done and the yard space is perfect! We should be closing on December 10th! Woo Hoo!!!

So many reasons to celebrate! I can't think of anyone better to celebrate them with but my Hubs!

My Wardrobe Malfunction

2010-10-21T07:41:00.000-04:00

I have something in common with celebs like Tara Reed. You know, the celebs who unwillingly flash a little boobage. Yup, I have had a major wardrobe malfunction!

I took dance classes from age 3 to age 16 but my 8th grade dance recital takes the cake for most excitement. I was so happy to be in advanced classes which meant more routines and, in my opinion, way cooler routines. My particular favorite that year was a song from Lion King, "Be Prepared". I was so excited to perform the number and was just getting into it when the unthinkable happened!

As far as wardrobe malfunctions go, this could not have happened at a better time. I bent down and over the music I could hear "Snap". As quickly as I heard it, I felt my strap pop off and I reacted. Grabbing my almost exposed boob, I followed the group with the next step, a leap, but then proceeded off the stage. Mortified is the best word to describe what I was feeling. Unfortunately, I couldn't actually exit the stage from the wing I was on so there I stood for the next 2 minutes or so... holding my costume up the entire time.

When the song was over, I hurried backstage where my mom and best friend were waiting. My mom, who was the one who sewed my costume in place, was super apologetic but I was so embarrassed that I lashed out at her a little. However, before she was even done sewing it back into place, I saw the humor in it and started laughing.

The worst part of the whole thing? There were a bunch of high school boys in the back of the auditorium that I was sure would never let me live it down. Even worse, my uncle had the whole thing of video. Even worse, I had to wear this costume countless times over the next few days! At least my nervousness was focused on keeping my costume on as opposed to performing!

Visit Mama Kat if you'd like to participate in this weeks Writer's Workshop!

Boredom + Reality TV + Sister Wives = WTF?!?

2010-10-20T20:39:00.000-04:00

I really do try not to judge but I just have to vent a little about this show Sister Wives. Not sure if anyone of you have seen it (I'm not really sure why I am watching it right now) but basically this guy has 3 (soon to be 4) wives and 13 children. Truthfully, the only thing running through my mind is WTF!

I wasn't planning on ever watching this show but I'm bored right now. Bored and too lazy to do the million things that need to be done. I really don't care what these people choose to do and I'll leave the lasting effects of their decisions on the children to their future therapists. What really got me going was while one of this guy's wives was in active labor, this guy is asking the doctor about IVF for a different wife who has only had one child. Are you serious?

Now, I don't know about any of you but when I was in labor I wanted everything to be about me and Abby. I clearly remember that right after Abby was born I yelled at my mom for trying to call my brother and wake him up for work. I was mad because it was taking her out of the moment and I wanted the attention on me and my new baby.

I really can't understand how this woman could sit there, in labor, and listen to him getting information to help his first wife have a baby. What do you all think? Am I unfair to think this whole thing is ridiculous? Could these women possibly be so void of jealousy that they can share a husband and a moment as special as the birth of their child?

By the way, I've already changed the channel... hello Teen Mom!

Pumpkin Patch Fun!

2010-10-18T09:55:00.000-04:00

Just a little update on our house hunting.... we found one! We love it and the work it needs is definitely doable if our offer is accepted. There was a little compromise with yard space... the amount that's there leaves a lot to be desired but the size, layout and neighborhood makes up for that. It's a short sale though so I'm trying not to get my hopes up just yet since it could take months to hear back from the bank.

We also took Abby pumpkin picking over the weekend. She had a blast even though she took a couple falls in the corn maze. I can't believe the fall is here and halloween is right around the corner! This will be Abby's first year trick or treating since last year we took her to Salem.

How is everyone else celebrating the arrival of Fall?

Family Feud Blooper!

2010-10-16T19:47:00.002-04:00

This was too funny for me to not to share! My side hurts from laughing so hard! Enjoy!

House Hunting: Way Harder than I Thought!

2010-10-16T08:30:00.000-04:00

We are in the process of house hunting and I never would have imagined that it would be so difficult. We have found a few potential homes but there are major problems with each one. One is a beautiful townhouse but the problem is that it's a townhouse and we just aren't too crazy about that idea. The other has the space we need but a very unusable yard that is right off a major road. Not too mention the lovely brown carpeting throughout the entire house... even the dining room. The third is a BEAUTIFUL home in an area that has a bad reputation. Basically, people say that it's not the crime in the area but people tend not to keep up with their property. This house is also slightly over budget.

Since seeing that beautiful home in a not so good neighborhood I have been tossing it around in my mind. Granite countertops, 5 bedrooms, a family room and living room.... maybe I can build a nice tall privacy fence so that I don't have to look at the rest of the neighborhood?

Today we're going to look at another home that's way under budget. The pictures make it look livable but I've learned that pictures can be deceiving. It sounds like it has space: 4 bedrooms, 4.5 bathrooms and a finished basement. There aren't any pictures of the kitchen or most of the bathrooms so I'm a little worried. However, the home is within walking distance of restaurants and shops which would be so nice. I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

3 Amazing Days: Walking for a Cure!

2010-10-12T16:18:00.000-04:00

WOW! That's the best word to describe the Susan G. Komen 3 Day experience. It was amazing, tiring, emotional... everything I hoped it would be and more. Being surrounded by over 2000 people who dedicated this past year to fundraising and awareness was an indescribable feeling. We were all strangers with one goal... and WE DID IT!

Bright and early on Friday, my cousin and I headed into D.C. to Nationals Stadium and we could feel the energy. People were decked out in pink handing in their luggage, getting water, and moving toward the stage for the opening ceremony. We were able to make our way up front and as expected the opening ceremony was filled with cheers and tears.

Then we headed out for our 20 (or so) mile journey around D.C. I say 'or so' because 3 Day miles are known as 'komen miles' because there are times when a sign will say "1 mile to pit stop" and that mile feels like way more than 1 mile. Either my body was tired or they lie... not sure which it is but a 'komen mile' can take forever! As we left Nationals Stadium, crew members and supporters were there to cheer us on. The cheering stations were absolutely amazing and our fans got all dolled up to help us stay motivated!

My goal was to finish Day 1 and I did it! It ended with a mile up hill, which was pure torture! I saw so much of D.C., most of which I had never seen before like the capital building (yes, I had to walk Capital Hill) and the National Cathedral (which is also on a HUGE hill). We ended up in Bethesda, MD (or was it Chevy Chase?) which still sounds crazy to me. I never would have imagined walking from D.C. to anywhere in Maryland but I DID IT!

Day 2 was tough. My feet were already blistered and the medical line was way too long in the morning so I decided to try to walk to the first pit stop. Did I mention how awesome the pit stops are? Every 2 to 3 miles they have snacks, gatorade, water, and bathrooms (port o potties, but you don't care after a few hours!). By the time I made it to Pit Stop 1, 2.7 miles, my feet were ready to fall off so I decided to give them a rest and take a van to the next Pit Stop to get some medical attention. Unfortunately, there was a mix up and after 2.5 hours I finally made it to lunch. By then my muscles were tight and my feet were screaming at me with every step I took. After some medical treatment and lunch, I walked another 2 miles but decided to call it a day at that point. I needed to give my pigs a break if I wanted to walk Day 3.

Back at camp, I was able to shower and relax. I played some BINGO and won a new pair of socks... WOO HOO!!! I also got to visit the Remembrance Tents which was a very emotional experience. Every city has one and people write about who they are walking in memory of. They set the tents up in every city. Our tent was under a large canopy and around the walls were photos of walkers and crew members who lost their battle. As if this wasn't emotional enough, 4 young kids walked in with their dad or grandpa to remember someone who had passed. It was a heart breaking reminder of why I chose to walk.

If the Pit Stops were amazing, then the services at camp are phenomenal. There's medical, a phone charging station, massages, computers, shopping, and food... and all of it is staffed by volunteers or sponsored by AT &T, Energizer, or New Balance! They truly took care of us and rolled out the pink carpet... well, as best they could on a camp ground. There was also entertainment and guest speakers... even Nancy Brinker came to see us! Between the cheering stations and the services at camp I felt like a celebrity! Well, that's if a celebrity had to live in a tiny tent in the middle of a field that I'm pretty sure was usually reserved for animals.

On Day 3 my energy and determination was back! I walked the 14.9 miles back into D.C., cheered at the cheering stations, danced to the music played by our crazy crossing guards and ignored my achy muscles (with the help of bio freeze) and my tired, sore toes. When we finally made it to the holding station, I was overjoyed! From there, we lined up to walk to the closing ceremonies about a half mile away. Again, I was in awe of the thousands of people who were alongside of me.

The closing ceremony was just as emotional as the opening but their was a feeling of victory. We saluted the survivors who walked alongside of us, one of them was only 21 years old when she was diagnosed and thanks to Susan G. Komen research grants she still has treatment options 7 years later. Her story is so moving and full of hope. I can't believe that I was one of the people who helped contribute to the grand total of 5.3 million dollars that was raised! AMAZING!!!

So, at the end of the weekend I had camped, raised awareness, walked 40 of the 60 miles, and was left with sore feet and muscles but I was also filled with hope and pride. It was truly amazing and I can not thank my donors enough. I was the one who walked but they were the ones who got me there. Eradicating this disease is a global effort and we are on the right path!

Oh, and in case anyone is wondering... Abby made it back in one piece and surprised me in D.C.! She had an awesome time with her Nonno, who misses her already. She even learned to say his name!

3 Day... Here I Come!

2010-10-07T07:24:00.000-04:00

Thank you all so much for your thoughtful comments the other day. I'm feeling better and working on forgiveness. I've decided that it's not for me to judge, especially since I'm not sure who it was. Thanks for all the advice and understanding!

On a positive note.....

I finally reached my goal, and I'll be heading to Washington, D.C. bright and early tomorrow morning for the Susan G. Komen 3 Day for a Cure. I already got choked up when I was reading the event info and they said there's a banner we can sign with our loved ones name on it. It's still hard for me to believe that my mom's not here but I know she'd be proud that we raised so much money for breast cancer.

It's going to be absolutely amazing to be surrounded by so many people who have been affected by breast cancer but and are trying to make a difference. Hopefully, the emotions that will be running through me will keep my feet moving because 60 miles is far. REAL FAR! I haven't really trained (at all) nor has my cousin so this should be interesting!

The only down side is that I have to leave Abby for 4 days. I've only left her alone over night once before so this is really, really, really difficult. She'll be with my dad and will probably have an awesome time getting spoiled and playing with other her cousin but I'll be missing and worrying every moment! It doesn't help that she'll be a couple states away either. It's funny, I wanted a break for a while. You know, just some time to go to the bathroom with the door closed. Now that I'll have a little break, I'm a nervous wreck!

I hope you all have an awesome weekend and I'll catch up with you Monday or Tuesday!

Disappointment: Forgiving and Moving Forward

2010-10-04T11:53:00.000-04:00

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

- Buddha

Have you ever been so disappointed in someone that it makes you wonder if you ever really knew them? Yesterday I found out that someone close to me did something unthinkable. It is so awful that I don't even want to think about it or say it out loud. Unfortunately, I don't know exactly who it was so now I will forever be suspicious. The only way to move past it is to forgive but it's hard because I gave the person an opportunity to redeem themselves anonymously and they did not. All I know is that someone I love and would do anything for, is dishonest and selfish. I can not tell you how much my heart breaks just thinking about this.

I believe that everything that happens in our life gives us the opportunity to become a better, stronger person. We always have a choice between right and wrong. We also always have the choice to right a wrong choice. I feel disappointed that someone closest to me has not taken advantage of difficult times and learned some valuable lessons. I feel disappointed that they are not the person that I know they are capable of being. My only hope is that on their journey through life, they become the person I always knew they would be.

"I'm not angry because you lied to me, I'm angry because I can't trust you anymore"

- Unknown

Struggles and Strength

2010-10-01T11:00:00.000-04:00

Image via Wikipedia

I was watching Dr. Phil yesterday and he reminded me of a lesson that is easy to forget. We're not all that different. Regardless of our struggles, there is always someone else who has been through or felt the same. The details may be different but the struggle and feelings are the same.

Since watching that episode, I've noticed that it's so true. Today is no exception. October is breast cancer awareness month and all morning I've been coming across bloggers who share similar experiences to mine. Some of these experiences, quite honestly, break my heart but once all of the details are stripped away, every story is one of strength. When life hands you the unthinkable, you find strength that you never thought you had.

I was 21 years old when I found out my mom had breast cancer. For 7 long years, breast cancer was the elephant in the room. Even during remission, the fear was always there but so was strength. I saw it in my mom, especially when the cancer returned. She had always said she would never go through chemo again but she found the strength to fight. I saw it in my siblings, who lived with her, helped her, and tried to continue living their life. I saw it in myself every time I had to be 'the bad news bear' and sit the four of them down for an update on my mom.

The most important lesson that I'm learning is that I am no different than countless other people who have been through the same thing. You find the strength to overcome, just as so many people have and will continue to do. When I walk in the 3Day next week, I'll be surrounded by people the same as me. People who have been affected by breast cancer and have found the strength to push forward. Although all of stories will have different details, none of us are all that different.

A Letter to the Younger Me

2010-09-22T23:02:00.001-04:00

Our Back to School Back to Blogging task this week is to contribute to the idea bank, which is shaping up to be an awesome resource for curing writer's block. The second part of our task is to pick an idea to write about. After going through the list, I found one that caught my attention. Write a letter to your younger self... reminds me of that Brad Paisley song, Letter to Me. Ooh, there is so much I wish I had known so here goes!

Dear Me,

If I know me, which I do, I would never have followed any of this advice but it would've been nice to have in the back of my mind.

There is life after high school and you will not remain friends with any of those people. Dad is right when he says that your lucky if you have one true friend in your entire life... you've already found her so don't sweat the small stuff.

Quit smoking now because it gets harder as you get older and your future husband hates. Speaking of your future husband, you don't know him yet so go ahead and dump that loser your dater. You'll meet him on some crazy trip to upstate New York... one of those where you go knowing you have hardly any money in your pocket and get too drunk to drive home. He'll not only buy you drinks but make sure you get home safely so don't listen to anyone who tells you that you find a nice guy at a bar. He'll also tell you he's going to marry you one day. You won't believe him but he's right.

Quit being so mean. One day, someone you were mean to that you don't even recognize will look down her nose at you as though she is better than you. That's ok, but she won't hire your sister for a job and your sister will make sure she reminds you every chance she gets how mean you were. I say were because you will change and be nicer (or at least keep your comments to yourself, where they belong).

Speaking of siblings, if one them asks you to borrow books on elephants from the library... DON'T DO IT! They'll get lost and you'll forget about them. 10 years later (yes, it will take 10 years for you to graduate college) you'll finally complete your coursework and after auditing your account these library books will come to haunt you.

Give your mom a break. She's never going to discipline anyone nor will she ever pay her bills on time. She WILL love all of you more than you could ever imagine was possible, that is until you have your own daughter. She will always be the strongest person you have ever met and face cancer with sarcasm and laughter. Take it easy on her, help her with housework, quit complaining about things you just don't understand, and don't get mad at her when she doesn't stay in the museum or want to walk around DC. Yes, she'll always be frustrating but in a funny sort of way! Finally, please make her go for a mammogram!

There will come a time when you realize that family means more to you than any friends could. Your dad will be the first person you call when you need advice, want to cry, or just need to vent. Your extended family... aunts, uncles, cousins, long lost relatives... will stand by your side through your toughest years. Treat them well and visit them often. As mom will tell you one day, "lean on them, they'll help you." She's right, so appreciate them from now.

There is so much more that I wish to tell you but truthfully, the mistakes you will make are what make you become the person you are meant to be. As you grow, you'll meet people who inspire you and remind you how good you have it. Nothing really gets easier but it does get different so keep moving forward.

Love,
Me

P.S. The winning numbers for the Maryland Mega Millions on Sept 21, 2010 is 03, 20, 43, 47, 57 and the bonus is 26.

Um, You Blog? YES, I DO!

2010-09-15T22:06:00.001-04:00

Last night I was updating my blog using some of the pointers from Back to School Back to Blogging. I realized that I didn't have a section on my blog that told my new readers about me, which is one of the first places I look on other people's blogs. I knew I needed to create one and to start I took a look at my first post to see how I originally introduced myself. Back then I had no idea people actually dedicated a whole page for that sort of thing. Back then I had no idea what a blog was or that so many people had one.

As I read that original blog post, I realized how much my reason for blogging has changed. It started as a way to raise awareness and in hopes of becoming an official blogger for the Susan G. Komen 3 Day for a Cure but it has become so much more. I wasn't selected to be the official blogger but I found something that I love to do. I'm not the type of person who has lots of hobbies. Most of my hobbies last for only a short time and then I get bored.

Blogging has yet to get boring and I blog about so much more than just about breast cancer and healing after losing my mom. Honestly, I blog very little about those things lately... well, my mom pops up a lot but usually not in a depressing sort of way. It's given me an outlet and as a stay at home mom I needed one... desperately! It's given me a way to connect with others, learn from them, laugh with them, and be inspired by them.

Most importantly, it's given me something to do that is just for me. People outside of the blogging world often look at me strange when I tell them I blog and there first question, "is about what?" My answer is always... "about me, about life, about anything I want."

My blog is my baby. I designed it, I nurture it, and I love watching it grow!

One of the writing prompts over at Mama Kat's this week is to answer the question: What does blogging mean to you? What purpose does it serve you and how have you benefited? Simply put, blogging means 'me time'. 'Me time' makes me happy and less stressed. A happy and less stressed me is a benefit to EVERYONE!

Please don't think less of me... I have to ask because I am desperate!

Since I already mention the Susan G. Komen 3 Day, I figured I would throw in a shameless request here. If anyone is interested in donating to this amazing organization, please click the widget on my side bar or click here. In order to do this walk, I need to raise $2300 and my fundraisers were completely unsuccessful. I am about $1200 short and if I don't raise enough money my poor cousin will be walking the 60 miles by herself (she's fundraising rock star!).

The Winner Is...

2010-09-14T19:48:00.002-04:00

Sorry, I totally forgot to generate the winner for the Shutterfly giveaway yesterday. The winner is Margaret from Take a Walk With Me. Congrats and enjoy!

True Random Number GeneratorMin: Max:

Result:

3Powered by RANDOM.ORG

VROOM! VROOM!

2010-09-14T15:16:00.000-04:00

It's been such a long time since I participated in the IHeartFaces photo challenge but when I saw the theme for this week, VROOM! VROOM!, I knew I had the perfect picture to use. We took this a while ago during one of our many stops on an 8 hour ride to Vermont.

Blogger Plug In

2010-09-14T08:52:00.000-04:00

One of the things that excites me the most about blogging is all that there is to learn, from html coding to how to be a better writer. That's why when I heard about the Back to School Back to Blogging challenge hosted by GiGi at Kludgy Mom, I jumped on the opportunity!

This weeks task was to take a look at the zillions of widgets and plug ins available to the various blogging platforms and find one that is somewhat unknown but really helpful. This task was harder then I thought it would be because there are so many available. I finally found one that I think would be a great fit for me and would actually help enhance my posts.

Zemanta is a plug in that analyzes your post while your typing. When you're working in Blogger (it is also available for Wordpress) a box shows up on the right hand side of the post your working on. Once your done with your post, or as your typing, you can click the update button and pictures, articles and links relevant to your post will come up so you can choose what would like to include in your post.

I used this post to test this new plug in and have to admit that I was a little let down. I thought it would bring up Kludgy Mom's website but it didn't. However, it did give me a lot of articles related to Zemanta which was helpful. It also provided links to some of the keywords in my post (blogging, html, etc) but most of those links were for Wikipedia.

The plug in is supposed to be able to review your old posts and give you recommendations of posts that are similar to the one your writing so you can link back. However, when I went to register my blog address it didn't complete automatically. The same thing happened when I registered my Twitter account.

I had really high hopes for this plug in and so far it has not met my expectations but I'm going to use it for a little longer to see how it is once my blog address and twitter update. I'll test it on my next few posts and then I'll provide an update as to whether I think this plug in is helpful. For now, if your on Blogger and want to know more about this plug in, click here.

Happy Grandparent's Day

2010-09-12T08:00:00.001-04:00

Before I get to Grandparent's Day, I wanted to remind everyone about the Shutterfly giveaway. I will be picking someone on Monday so don't forget to get your entry in!

Today is Grandparent's Day, which I now know thanks to tv channels like Sprout. I had no idea there was a Grandparent's Day but now that I do I felt bad not acknowledging it (even though I think it's just a holiday made up by Hallmark to sell more cards). I wanted to do something special for them but I also wanted it to come from Abby.

My first thought was a one of those HUGE cards and have her paint or color inside. Unfortunately, I don't think they make those cards for Grandparent's Day because I searched and came up empty. I was stumped... whatever I did had to make it to them for tomorrow (or Monday at the latest). Since her Nonno (my dad) lives 3.5 hours away and her Grammy and Gramps live 9 hours away this was going to be impossible by mail. So... I thought about an e-card.

From there the idea spun into a video! Yup, my wheels work.... they just squeak a lot. I have to say I love my MAC!! I never made a video before and although it was tricky, it was possible. After about 3 hours, here's my final project. I hope you enjoy it!

By the way, she's laughing at herself on the screen. She finds herself hysterical!

Goblin King! Goblin King! Wherever You May Be....

2010-09-09T10:15:00.000-04:00

There is only ONE movie that I can quote. My hubbins, on the other hand, can quote just about every movie he's seen which can get annoying when he tries to quiz me. The conversation usually goes something like this:

Him: Some obscure movie quote

Me: I have no idea

Him: Come on... you know it.

Me: Nope... no clue.

Him: Yes you do (followed by some hint)

Me: Still no idea. Just tell me, you're making my brain hurt!

Him: I can't believe you don't know it. It's (insert some random movie)

Me: Did I even see that movie?

However, there is one movie that I can quote from beginning to end. It's hard for me to even write this because the movie is playing in my head right now.

Through dangers untold and through hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way here to the castle beyond the goblin city, to take back the child that you have stolen.....

I have loved The Labyrinth since I was a kid! Maybe I secretly wanted one of my four siblings to be taken away for a little while (I love them but I clearly remember life being so much better when I was 2 years old and an only child). Or maybe I was fascinated by the theatrics of David Bowie (and the fact that he somehow managed to squeeze into those pants). Regardless of the reason, this movie has always been a favorite of mine. The songs, the fantasy of it all... I heart this movie!

I wouldn't recommend watching this movie with me because I have this awful habit of talking and singing right along with it. (I heard my baby, crying hard as babe could cry... what could I do?) Sorry... I just can't help myself! I'll have an ear worm for the rest of the day!

By the way... don't forget to enter my Shutterfly giveaway!

If you need some writing inspiration or would just like to join in on the fun, stop by Mama Kat's and link up!

One of Those Days...

2010-09-06T13:16:00.001-04:00

After 3 days, Abby's fever was finally gone yesterday. So, I decided that we would go for a walk this morning. I figured I would get my workout in by walking/jogging to the pond and then let her walk around once we go there. Sounds like a great plan, right?

Well, I should have learned from the last time that a trip to the pond is never uneventful. We were enjoying our walk around the pond and Abby got super excited when she saw the ducks. I was nervous she was going to roll down the hill so I immediately grabbed her hand. Surprisingly, she sat down on the path with me without giving me any grief and started talking to the ducks.

All of the sudden the ducks started to freak out a little. Then I noticed my stroller... rolling down the hill and into the water. All I could do was stand there and think, "THIS DID NOT JUST HAPPEN!"

There I was at the top of the hill, looking down at my stroller. My bottle of water floating next to it. I wasn't concerned that I lost the bottle of water but I was super worried about what else, like my keys, might also be in the water. http://alittlecupofcomfort.blogspot.com/2010/08/when-ducks-attack.html

Now what? I couldn't leave my stroller. I couldn't leave Abby at the top of the hill. So my only option was to take her with me. Here I am, trying to hold Abby and balance myself on rocks and try to fish this soaking wet (and HEAVY) stroller out of the water. I wish someone was video taping because it was HYSTERICAL!

Thankfully, the keys were still there. Abby was in her glory because she got to walk all the way home (which took extra long because she tends to get side tracked).

The only casualty was my cell phone. Verizon, here I come!

“If confusion is the first step to knowledge, I must be a genius” Larry Leissner

2010-09-05T20:26:00.000-04:00

I just took a big step over the weekend. I was scared and unsure and had thought about it for a while but Kludgy Mom gave me the nudge I needed. Are you ready for it?

I signed up for TWITTER! Yup, I have entered into the world of hashtags and must admit I'm still quite confused. Kludgy Mom is hosting a blogging challenge and one of the requirements was to sign up for Twitter. I was actually so afraid of Twitter that I almost backed out of the challenge! However, after reading her 'how to' guide, I felt a little (just a wee little bit) more confident and went for it.

So, are any of my bloggy friends also Tweeps? (I hope that's the right term, feel free to correct me!) If so, follow me @lifeunfiltrd.

And does anyone have any advice on how to keep all of this stuff straight? Between my personal Facebook, email, my blog, taking part in different communities, and now Twitter I am slightly overwhelmed!

My next step is a Facebook fan page! Watch out now!!!

Oh, and don't forget to enter my give away for 20 5x7 Shutterfly cards!

Shutterfly Review and Giveaway!!!

2010-09-04T14:21:00.002-04:00

I am terrible at scrapbooking and getting pictures printed and into the mail for people. Which is why I absolutely love Shutterfly! I was so happy to be given the opportunity to review them through Mom Bloggers Club.

I use Shutterfly for all my photo needs. I have made a couple of photo books because it's so much easier than making a traditional scrapbook. I also used Shutterfly for our Christmas cards last year.... look at how professional they look! Isn't Abby just too cute?!?

They have tons of background options and you can also make personalized:

My favorite part about Shutterfly has to be their Share Site. It's so easy for me and other members of my family to upload photos. We all live at least 2 hours apart so it's great that we can put all of our photos on one site. Abby's grandparents love it because they are able to easily order prints of their favorite pictures!

Shutterfly is also reasonably priced and often sends coupon codes for free prints or free shipping. They ship their products fast and their customer service team always resolves problems quickly. If you haven't tried Shutterfly yet or you love them as much as I do, then enter to win 20 free 5x7 stationary cards! The promotional code will expire 12/31/10 and does not include taxes and shipping. There are only 2 rules:

You have to be a follower.
You have to leave a comment letting me know what you love about Shutterfly!

If you want to earn an extra entry, you can grab my button. Don't forget to leave me a comment with the link!

I will randomly pick a winner on Monday, Sept. 13. Good luck everyone!

* The opinions in the post are 100% mine. Shutterfly did offer me free 5x7 stationary cards in return for writing this review.

What Could Be Better than a Chance to Sleep In? Everything!

2010-09-03T10:25:00.000-04:00

Why is it that when Abby sleeps in for a day, as in later than 6:30, I just know that I'm in for it? Yesterday she slept until 7:45 and, since she's my alarm clock, so did I. The first thing I noticed is that I felt like I was hit by a mac truck in my sleep. I had a pounding headache! I guess my body doesn't respond well to an normal amount of sleep. Then the worry set in... did I sleep through her getting up at her usual time? Has she been up waiting for me for over an hour?

She wasn't crying but my biggest worry was that I was going to walk into the same thing I walked into the other morning. Diaper off and her business in the bed.... what a lovely way to start your day, huh ?!? Way better than coffee, I tell ya.

Thankfully, that wasn't the scene but unfortunately the day was not going to turn out great. As we got ready for Gymboree, Abby was happy, laughing, and totally normal.

We left Gymboree and went home for our play date. When I took her out of the car she was warm but I thought it was from being in the car. Within 20 minutes I realized that she was not cooling down and was showing no interest in playing with her friend. A quick temperature check and there it was... 104.1!!!

I never saw someone leave as quickly as my friend did! It was quite funny and totally understandable. Abby's fever broke only to return 4 hours later and then again at 3 am. She has no other symptoms but the fever but I am just amazed that in the 15 minutes from Gymboree things could change so quickly.

This morning she woke up happy and healthy (thankfully!) but way late... around 8:30. My poor Hubs who was also up with us 3 and then had to work this morning is a little jealous that I got to sleep in but I have this feeling that the fever isn't behind us. I am just waiting for the payback I usually get from being able to sleep in.

Oh, and yes, I have a terrible headache again today. I guess nothing good comes from sleeping in!

Five Question Friday!

2010-08-27T09:39:00.001-04:00

It's been a while since I participated in 5 Question Friday but I decided to link up today. Stop by Mama M's to join on in!

1. How many pets do you have?

One... and he's a little devil of a dog. I love him but don't like him most of the time. Why? Because he barks at everything, will leave us 'presents' out of spite, and basically hates everyone. Did I mention that he's also a nervous tinklier?

2. If you could switch places with anyone in the world for one day, who would it be?
This is a toughie. There are lots of people who tell these unbelievable stories or make these wacky choices and I would love to be them for a day to know exactly what's going on.

3. What is your favorite money saving tip?

I try to wait a while before I make a purchase. If I forget about it then I didn't really want it. I also try to clip coupons but I'm super unorganized and forget to use them half the time.

4. What do you want your kids to be when they grow up?
Happy and healthy. It doesn't matter to me what Abby is when she grows up as long as she's happy with who she is.

5. What is your favorite quote?
There are a lot of quotes that I love but the one that I've used most often in life is... 'Sharing is caring.' Not sure where it came from (could be from Barney for all I know) but I've been using since my siblings were younger and would fight over toys. I still use it sometimes and they usually laugh or roll their eyes!

When Ducks Attack

2010-08-26T21:52:00.000-04:00

I have a zillion phobias... mainly having to do with nature. Which is funny because I majored in Environmental Science. Anyway, my biggest fear is spiders. I hate them and quite honestly, I think they have it out for me. I see them everywhere but usually when I'm alone and sometimes they even crawl on me. Never my husband, only me. It's a conspiracy, I tell you. They want to eat my brains!

Ok, so I know I'm ridiculous but today I realized that I am ridiculous on so many levels. It was such a nice day that I decided to take Abby to visit the ducks. We took a couple strolls around the pond looking for the ducks who seemed to always be on the opposite side of us. Finally, there was one sad looking goose with what looked like a broken wing (poor guy). I wheeled Abby closer to the pond and pulled out our bread. Abby loved it and I kept throwing it some bread.

Shortly after, 2 ducks from the other side of the pond must have caught wind of what was going on because they flew on over. Abby was so excited!

Then a couple more flew over. Abby was beaming, leaning forward in her stroller, and chatting with her new friends who by now had made their way out of the water.

But then it happened... what felt like 40 ducks, all out of the water and all coming closer and closer to us.

I could feel myself panicking and kept trying to reassure myself that ducks are harmless. It didn't help... my heart was racing. Could something as cute and innocent as a duck really be scaring the bejesus out of me?

Yup... I was scared but I tried not to panic. We calmly walked back up the hill with all those little ducks following us and made a run for it!

I felt kind of crazy so when I got home I looked it up and ducks do attack. Apparently, they flap their wings a lot, try to bite and make lots of noise. Honestly, I wouldn't be scared of a duck or two but a flock (or is it gaggle?) is a different story. I guess we won't be feeding them when Daddy's not around anymore. Add ducks to my list of phobias... I am absolutely ridiculous. If this keeps up, I may become a total shut in!

Check Me Out!

2010-08-22T21:15:00.001-04:00

Woo Hoo! I got a make over! First, let me say that I give all of the sites that offer layouts and headers for free lots of credit because this new look took me forever! I actually purchased the image for my header and button but used this ~~confusing, time consuming, annoying~~ AWESOME program called GIMP to change all of the colors. I would love to show you the original image but I saved over it and can not figure out how to download the raw image again. OOPS!

Aside from the long process of fine tuning the header and button, I had to figure out how to actually apply everything to my blog. Did I ever tell you that I was a little ADD in school? Well, not exactly ADD but more uninterested in certain classes. Computer class was one of those classes. It was early in the morning, the lights were dim and the professor was super boring. Needless to say, I begged someone to complete my final for which happened to be designing a webpage. If only I had known then that HTML coding was important!

So, this whole blogging experience has been a real challenge to me and there have been a few sites that have really helped me along the way. If your interested in creating some custom layouts, headers or buttons check these sites first. If they can't help you then they will at least give you a great jumping off point.

The Cutest Blog on the Block - This site offers a great selection of designs but also gives a ton of tips and tricks to do some of your own customizing.
Manic Mother - As much as I loved the Cutest Blog on the Block, I found this tutorial on creating a blog button much easier to follow.
GIMP - Here's the link to the photo editor I used. I didn't want to make the commitment to photoshop and this is a free program. It works pretty well but it gets glitchy sometimes... not sure if the glitches are program errors or user error though! It's kind of hard to get the hang of but the results are worth it!
Blogger Tips and Tricks - This site explained how to center the titles of posts... something that was driving me crazy!

So what does everyone think? Is it easy to read? Do the colors work together? Do you like/not like? I'd really love some feedback!

One Billionaire, Two Kids, and $100 Million in Child Support

2010-08-21T21:20:00.000-04:00

I watch the news every morning... well, it's usually just background noise while I'm trying to find the spunk I need to start my day. Every so often a story will catch my attention and the other morning this story definitely made my ears perk up. Maybe this is a hot button issue for some and I normally try to avoid controversy on my blog but I just HAVE to give my opinion. I would love to hear what everyone thinks too!

Donald Bren, who apparently is a real estate billionaire and one of the richest men in America, is being sued by his adult children for back child support. It's not as though he never paid child support. As a matter of fact, their mother testified that he never withheld support and paid out nearly $3 million between 1988 and 2002. They are suing because of the amount... apparently they feel, or the law dictates, that they should have been paid $400,000 a month. That's equivalent to about $100 million!

Now, I'm not going to comment on the relationship Donald Bren has with his children or the mother of his children but $100 million for child support?!? When you've already received $3 million for child support?!? Do these people have any idea how absurd those numbers are? Could you imagine?

I know I come from a family who has had it's share of financial hardships to say the least but it always shocks me to learn that there is such a HUGE difference in income levels across the country. I don't want to get into a numbers game because statistics can be a tricky thing but I think it's safe to say that if the average American made $3 million in their lifetime than we wouldn't be in the economic crisis we are in.

I understand that these two grown children probably have a way bigger problem with their dad than money. I also can understand that if he's living a certain lifestyle then he should be taking care of his responsibilities and affording them the same. But all I can think is, are these people serious?!? We are talking about a ridiculous amount of money and it just comes off as greedy to me. To put this into perspective... the $18,000 a month that they received is more than my mother made in a year and she was raising 5 kids!

I also want to make it clear that I am not saying that people should be limited to the amount of money that they earn. I feel that if you work hard then you should reap the rewards. However, there are millions of Americans that work hard everyday just to get by. These are the people who are working every weekend and holiday while the higher earning execs are spending time with their families. There is a huge inequality here. The average person does not make what they are worth.

Aside from that, these kids didn't earn this money. They were born and they were taken care of. They did not go with out. So, maybe their dad was an a**hole. Maybe they were entitled legally or morally to more money. But it's not like they were living in poverty while their dad was living the good life. They had food, shelter, and apparently he even paid for their education. They need to move on and live their life in a way that ensures their children will have better then they did.

My hope is that these two people understand that wealth has nothing to do with money or material things and that if they do win their lawsuit they decide to donate that money to children who really need it.

Ok... I'm going to step off my soapbox now. What are your thoughts?

Where's the Sunshine and Rainbows?

2010-08-18T13:12:00.000-04:00

"The only difference between a rut and a grave is their dimensions."

~Ellen Glasgow~

I try to keep my blog upbeat and happy and, honestly, I haven't really felt that way lately. So, I've been coming up dry whenever I think about writing a new post. Finally, I have decided that I'm just going to write how I feel because this blog is meant to be a true representation of me and a way for me to express myself. I wouldn't be being honest to myself or you if I always pretended that life was full of sunshine and rainbows.

Lately, I've been finding myself wearing my comfies for too much of the day, hardly ever putting on any make up, and being super tired. So tired that yesterday I actually put Abby down for a morning nap and she didn't take one but I did. She wasn't crying but just playing and talking in her crib... but still, I felt like such a bad Mommy!!!

I also find myself putting off all chores and responsibilities that I deem unnecessary... washing floors, making certain phone calls. The problem? These things are actually necessary!

So, why? I have lots of reasons... but mainly it has to do with life. There are times that life just gets the best of you and problems seem bigger and badder than they actually are. So, as much as I wanted to sleep yesterday afternoon, I decided to work out right before Abby's nap. I was too sweaty and gross to hop back into bed when she did so I HAD to shower. This morning I did the same.

Guess what? I feel better! Not so tired, more energized and way less like a waste of space! Amazing! Who would have thunk? I can see glimpses of the rainbows and sunshine again!

What do you do when you're in a bit of a rut? What does it take for you to be 'you' again?

I'm Back... but not for long...

2010-08-12T20:42:00.001-04:00

HELLO Bloggy Friends!

Oh, how I have missed all of you! I have been running around... very much like a chicken without a head. We've been traveling... Massachusetts, Vermont, New Jersey. Then there were play dates and a fundraiser to get ready for this weekend. Yup, I'm leaving for PA tomorrow to fundraise for the 3-Day. I am POOPED!!

We did have a great time and Abby got to meet some new relatives. I am a huge family person. I think it's so important to know where you came from and there is nothing like the support that family can give you. So, seeing Abby play with cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Great Grandparents... it was heartwarming.

Most importantly... I think our little devil dog may have finally warmed up to her.

Ok... so maybe I'm being a little too optimistic since he was on a leash and had no choice but a mom can dream can't she?!?

I hope everyone is doing great and hope to catch up with all of you soon!

A Pictures Worth a Thousand Words....

2010-08-04T06:50:00.002-04:00

At the Patriot's practice.... I see a future cheerleader in the making!

Fun in the Sun!

2010-07-28T18:38:00.002-04:00

Phew... I feel like we just got back from one road trip and we're off to the next one! I am so far behind on reading my favorite blogs (along with a ton of housework... but that can wait). Not that I'm complaining seeing family is always a blast and LBI was great. Abby experienced so many firsts... first time in the ocean, first time on rides, first time staying up late and eating ice cream for dinner! She really was a trooper and handled all the new experiences with a mixture of laughter and tears....

She really wanted to get the ball....

But she really hated the sand!

She loved floating around in the bay... the ocean, not so much!

I thought this was going to be the longest carousel ride ever....

But I think this was her favorite ride! Look at that cheesy smile (and yes, that's me looking all crazy!)

We had so much fun that we plan on invading my Dad and his girlfriend's vacation every year! It was great to see them everyday and I know Abby is a little lonely now that only Mommy is around. We leave tomorrow for to visit with some other family and because of our crazy dog we have to add some hours to our trip. First we'll travel to Massachusetts for a day, then to Vermont for a family reunion, and then back to Massachusetts. Our little beast is not allowed at the family reunion... well, no one said that exactly but I could hear the sigh of relief when I said he would not be attending! He'll spend the day in Massachusetts with the in laws while we party it up at the family reunion.

I hope everyone is enjoying their summer as much as we are!

Tinkle, Tinkle Little Doggie

2010-07-21T15:37:00.000-04:00

We're about to head out to LBI to vacation with some family. The only problem is we have a dog... a very anxious and bad little dog. Since we're staying in a rented house, we didn't want to bring him and deal with the messes and embarrassment. We decided to board him at Petsmarts Pet Hotel and the trip there today was anything but fun.

Hubbins is working so I had to bring the dog in. As I'm walking into the store and holding Abby, my little beast is jumping and barking at everyone and everything. I try to put Abby in a cart but realize that the cart is too high and the dog's leash it too short. I had no choice but to let J.R. dangle in the air for a few seconds (poor guy).

We get into the hotel check in area... which is nicer than some hotels I've stayed at... and he immediately poops on the floor. Fantastic! They clean it up which freaks the dog out even more and he starts tinkling. Not normal tinkle... an endless stream! As he's endlessly tinkling he's also jumping up on me. Of course, I'm in flip flops. Now, I'm covered in pee and there's a puddle in the bottom of my flip flog. UGH!

When the woman tries to put the collar on J.R., Abby starts freaking out. I guess she doesn't like this new collar? So, now I'm being tinkled on and trying to calm her down... great! After the woman puts the collar on, and in the middle of this chaos, she informs me that I need to add on to our package because J.R. will not get enough exercise. The problem? He hates other animals and doesn't like to eat treats or food when we're not around. So, $13 a day for a peanut butter and ice cream is a waste. Finally, in an effort to speed things along so I can go wash my foot, I agree to an extra individual playtime which is an extra $10 a day. This little beast better enjoy it!!!!

I hope everyone has a great rest of the week and weekend!

Being Who You Want to Be

2010-07-18T13:41:00.001-04:00

Lately I feel like I'm a little bitter, not as positive and happy as I want to be. I strive to be understanding and forgiving but there are times that this is difficult. Sometimes, I realize that I have been giving way more than other people and I'm left with a feeling of being used. The other night I was telling my Hubbins that sometimes I feel like I have a split personality. On one hand I'm nice and understanding but on the other I'm blunt and tactless.

So, last night I was floating around on the internet and I came across this story that made me feel less crazy.

An Old Cherokee Teaches His Grandson About Life.

"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.

"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. This same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather which wolf would win.

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

I think we all struggle at times with being true with who we want to be. It's so easy to fall into a negative cycle of thinking and behaving. Positivity sometimes takes a little extra work but it leaves me feeling happier and more at peace.

What do you think? Do you sometimes have to work hard at being who you want to be?

It's the Little Things...

2010-07-14T14:16:00.000-04:00

"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things."

Robert Brault

When Abby was first born she loved being cuddled and held. She would sleep on my chest every night. When she started crawling and walking, she became the least cuddly baby I knew. She has this independent streak in her. Even at a year old, I can see that she knows what she wants and nothing else will do. She doesn't like to walk and hold hands or be held for any longer than 30 seconds. She wants to explore and be free.

I think I finally have my cuddly baby back! She's starting to give not just hugs but real, honest to goodness kisses! At first she would just hug me but then she started hugging random kids (which does lead to some awkward moments!). As long as you get down on her level she'll give just about anyone a hug! Case in point, here she is hugging a statue outside of church. You don't even have to be real to get some love from my cuddly kid! So cute! As if the hugs weren't cute enough, the kisses came soon after!

By far the best milestone! Nothing is better than hugs and smooches to help you through the day!

It Was the Worst of Times, It Was the Funniest of Times

2010-07-07T21:11:00.002-04:00

I can not believe it's been a whole year since I saw her, heard her, hugged her. I miss her and these past 2 days have felt like I'm reliving everything all over again. There is so much I've learned this past year and the one lesson that I try to remind myself of every day is that sometimes the things that frustrate you the most are the things you miss the most. My Mom had so many idiosyncrasies that gave us so many laughs but sometimes drove us crazy! Whenever I would return back to work after spending time with her, my friends would ask what types of crazy things she did and laugh. I remember asking my Dad one time how it was possible to love and care for someone so much but be so frustrated at the same time. Her craziness made her lovable.

For one, she loved Walmart (I did not inherit this quality). Not only did she shop there but she worked there. Every time, and I do mean every single time, we went anywhere (yes, even chemo appointments) she would ask to stop there. She knew everyone that worked there and walking around with her was like walking around with the Mayor of Walmart. She stopped after every aisle to hug someone or catch up on the gossip. I swear, a trip to pick up kitty litter would last 2 hours! She was so dedicated and beloved by her coworkers that after she passed away they framed her vest, name tag and a rose they found in her locker.

My Mom was also a bit stubborn. She always needed a chaperone at the doctor's office because she would make up things that they said to fit what she wanted to do. She took medication her way, resulting in one too many anxiety pills more than a time or two. I still laugh because the day she passed away she made sure to take that last pill. I will never forget when the doctors put her on a pain patch. I told her to please be careful and use it as directed. She swore she would but said the patch wasn't working. We took her back to the doctor and they were shocked that it didn't help at all. After questioning her a bit, we found out that she was cutting the patch in half! I couldn't help but laugh because this was so typical for her but I also gave her a bop on the head the pamphlet I was holding. The doctor was laughing but said she deserved it! She was never to be trusted with the patch again!

My Mom's stubbornness also helped her fight through some of the worst pain. She didn't want surgery and always told the doctors she felt better than she really did. When she was having a hard time walking, I mean a really hard time, we found out that she was actually walking around on a broken hip for weeks! Any normal person would be anxious to be out of pain but I can remember her first question to the surgeon like it was yesterday, "Well, does it really have to be fixed today? I have a vacation to Vermont to visit my sister in a few days so can it wait?" I don't think that doctor could believe what he was hearing but he allowed her to go. He said for any other patient he would say no but if she promised to be extremely careful and not walk around she could go. So she went and drove the golf cart around the property! She was nuts!

She always kept things interesting. She would say some crazy things at the oddest times. The most memorable was the day we were all sitting at the table chatting and out of no where she looked at us and said, "I like fish tanks." Why did she say that? She said, "Because I do" and then she laughed. She truly was a character! She never minded being the brunt of the joke and even allowed my sisters and I to call her Vagina even though her name was Virginia (of course in public we called her Mom, usually). It made her laugh and her laughter was contagious!

Without laughter, we would have never made it through all of those hard years. We would laugh at everything from the crazy nurse that wore the funny hat (she reminded us of something out of horror movie) to the loony tune plastic surgeon that was obsessed with her reconstructed belly button. We laughed at how her doctor would lean forward and blink her eyes a thousand times per second when she talked. Above all, we laughed at ourselves. We tried to keep her diagnosis light... it truly does heal the soul.

All the joking and craziness aside, my Mom was the most giving person I know. It didn't matter to her that she owed money on her house or didn't have enough for groceries, she made do and helped whomever she could. She would take in a stray person as quickly as she took in a stray cat (which resulted in her having about 7 cats at one point). She was always picking things up for people (at Walmart of course!) that were on sale... from crazy pajama pants to blankets that had a picture of the state of Texas on it. She was unique, the best friend you could have, and you knew that you always got a laugh when she was around. I miss every frustrating moment I had with her and would give anything to go to Walmart with her one more time. I mean, just look at this smiling face, what is there not to love?

Miss you Mom!!